Thursday, August 10, 2017

He Says He Loves Me, But Are We Just Hooking Up?

Q.

The guy that I have been talking to on and off for a year doesn't want a relationship with me. Why?! We started talking over a year ago and we hook up fairly often. He has even told me that he is in love with me, which is something I never expected from him. He doesn't like to talk about his feelings or what's going on in his head. We have been out on one real date and he would rather spend time with his friends on the weekends than with me. I only see him after 10 at night, and only if I go to his house. He gets super jealous at the thought of me talking to other guys, and I don't think he is talking to anyone else either. He has always been honest with me. He just says it's not the right time for us to be together right now. Am I wasting my time?

 —Frustrated

A.

Dear Frustrated,

You ought to change your signature to “Booty Call” –because that’s all you are to this player. To keep you coming around, he’ll tell you he is “in love” with you, and say he’s “super jealous.” Girlfriend, the only thing you can believe is dude’s actions. And they’ve already proven that he prefers spending time with his homies to being with you! The excuse that it’s “not the right time” for the two of you to be together is bogus! It explains that the “right time” is only after 10 p.m. at his place, so there’s no disruption in lothario’s routine. Learn this Gilda-Gram®: “Assess love by the level of inconvenience someone endures for you.”


Honey, a ready erection in the middle of the night is hardly a love connection!

—Dr. Gilda

***
Check out all my Books on my Amazon.com author's page. 
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Tuesday, August 8, 2017

I Cheated On Her Before She Was My 'Girlfriend ' — Do I Confess?

Q.

I was dating a girl for about one month. We had not been intimate. I went on a boat cruise, and before the boat left, I impulsively and drunkenly texted her that I wanted her to be my girlfriend. She responded, "I would like to talk about it in person, but of course." 

After being on the cruise for several nights, I ended up getting intimate with another passenger. I immediately thought, "Oh, I have to tell her what happened," but before I spoke to her, I sought the advice of family, friends, and the Internet. Essentially, everybody recommended that I do not say anything to her. So when I saw her in person, I asked her to be my girlfriend again, but this time face-to-face. She agreed, and we were intimate for the first time. She then said, "I'm glad I can now call you my boyfriend. Can we make today the official starting date of our relationship?" I agreed, and thought this worked out perfectly.

What happened on vacation was before we were officially dating, and also before anything intimate with us had happened. My friends and family all agreed I should feel no guilt. Even though I agree, I am still faced with a lot of guilt. I think about it EVERY day, and I feel overwhelmed by what I did. Should I tell her? Or, should I not tell her? If you think I shouldn't, how can I stop feeling guilty?

—Stuck

A.

Dear Stuck,

When people decide to spill their guts about a past diversion, it’s either to support their relationship, or to sap it. You seem to be certain about this girl, so it's unlikely you want to sabotage your union. So what good would come from divulging your sexcapades before you were officially a couple?

As my Gilda-Gram™ says,


I suspect you’re suffering from unresolved guilt from a similar involvement in your past. Dig deep, and make peace with your history. Perhaps write a letter — and don’t send it — to the person you hurt. The objective is for you to wipe out the debilitating memories holding you back from enjoying love.

 —Dr. Gilda

***
All of my Kindle Books are FREE for Kindle Unlimited subscribers on Amazon.com https://amazon.com/author/drgilda


Thursday, August 3, 2017

Help! My Husband Doesn't Want Me -- But My Ex-Boyfriend Does


Q: I met my husband 5 years ago. We married last year and had a baby after much convincing on my part. Now, he ignores me, never makes time for me or our son and we rarely have sex, maybe once every few months. Recently, an old boyfriend contacted me, telling me he'd made a mistake and wants me back. He knows I'm married -- it’s like he knows I'm unhappy, despite my efforts to convince him I'm happy. He is promising me happily ever after, for me and my son. Why does my ex want me when my husband ignores me? Why does my ex want to make me happy, make my son's life amazing, and my husband seems not to care? I love my husband, but now that my ex has pointed it out to me, am I making a mistake by staying married?
 --Unhappily Ever After
Dear Unhappily Ever After,
Girlfriend, guys are hunters whose pursuit for prey takes precedence over even winning their prize! You're a challenge to this cad who's already walked. Good riddance, dude! He knows you're miserable, and you're coyly and dishonestly encouraging him because of your own self-serving needs.
Hubby felt conned into fatherhood, and he avoids sex so he won't be conned again. Instead of looking to fly to Neverland, put your efforts into your marriage, with counseling. If your spouse refuses to go, make the trek yourself. My Gilda-Gram advises,
"Discard your junk before deciding to switch houses."
Otherwise, any new relationship will find you buried beneath the same heap of rubbish.
 --Dr. Gilda
Check out all my Kindle Books on Amazon.com
They are FREE for Kindle Unlimited Subscribers!

 
***

About: Dr. Gilda Carle is the media’s Go-To Relationship and Lifestyle Expert, serving private clients worldwide at www.DrGilda.com. She has conducted Relationship Wellness training for Columbia University Medical Center, and hosts TBN TV shows. As President of Country Cures® at www.CountryCures.org, she uniquely applies ‎Country Music to train Homeless Female Veterans in Civilian Success Skills. She has served as product spokesperson for Hallmark, Harlequin, Sprint, Cottonelle, Galderma Pharmaceuticals, Match.com, etc. She is a keynote motivational speaker, Management Consultant, Professor Emerita, and author of 17 books, including “Don’t Bet on the Prince!” (test question on “Jeopardy”) and “How to WIN When Your Mate Cheats” (literary award winner from London Book Festival). She wrote the weekly “30-Second Therapist” column for the Today Show, the “Ask Dr. Gilda” column for Match.com, and she was the ‎therapist in HBO’s Emmy Award winner, “Telling Nicholas,” featured on Oprah. She hosted MTV Online’s “Love Doc,” and was the TV host for Fox’s “Dr. Gilda” show.

Wednesday, August 2, 2017

My Boyfriend Is Sexting Another Woman



Q: I have been dating a guy for eight months. He calls me his "playtoy," not his “girlfriend,” to his friends and co-workers. But he is always sweet, saying he misses me and cares.  I’m ashamed I went through his text messages, but when I did, I saw him sexting a girl he knew in high school. I was upset and asked about this. He said it’s no big deal, and they’ve been sexting for years. I asked if he saw me in his future, and he replied he's still figuring stuff out. Should I be heading for the door? I can't be with another emotionally unavailable guy, and I'm wondering if I'm just so jaded that I either don't see the red flags or that I’m looking for ones that aren't there.

 —Sexting Her, Dating Me

Dear Sexting Her, Dating Me,

The moment you feel compelled to question if someone sees you in his crystal ball, that’s the moment you’ve derived your answer!  Dude is a player.  And he even calls you his “play TOY.”  Which syllable of “play-er” don’t you get? Saying he misses you and cares is not showing he misses you and cares. If you trusted him, you wouldn’t be rummaging through his texts. But now that you know he’s sexual with someone on the side, why are you still hanging on?

You say, “I can’t be with another emotionally unavailable guy.” Girlfriend, what do you think you’re with now?  It’s not being jaded that’s giving you tunnel vision; it’s your desperation for love. Dump the dude, build your trust, and find a partner who truly believes you’re “girlfriend” material.

 —Dr. Gilda

Check out all my Kindle Books on Amazon.com
They are FREE for Kindle Unlimited Subscribers!


***
About: Dr. Gilda Carle is the media’s Go-To Relationship and Lifestyle Expert, serving private clients worldwide at www.DrGilda.com. She has conducted Relationship Wellness training for Columbia University Medical Center, and hosts TBN TV shows. As President of Country Cures® at www.CountryCures.org, she uniquely applies ‎Country Music to train Homeless Female Veterans in Civilian Success Skills. She has served as product spokesperson for Hallmark, Harlequin, Sprint, Cottonelle, Galderma Pharmaceuticals, Match.com, etc. She is a keynote motivational speaker, Management Consultant, Professor Emerita, and author of 17 books, including “Don’t Bet on the Prince!” (test question on “Jeopardy”) and “How to WIN When Your Mate Cheats” (literary award winner from London Book Festival). She wrote the weekly “30-Second Therapist” column for the Today Show, the “Ask Dr. Gilda” column for Match.com, and she was the ‎therapist in HBO’s Emmy Award winner, “Telling Nicholas,” featured on Oprah. She hosted MTV Online’s “Love Doc,” and was the TV host for Fox’s “Dr. Gilda” show.

Tuesday, August 1, 2017

My FiancĂ© Dumped Me — But I Still Want Him Back

Q: My now ex-boyfriend and I were together for four years, the last of which we were engaged. We've always had a lot of fights and disagreements, but I thought that was just the way we were, and we got through them.

Then, right in the thick of wedding planning, he told me he isn't happy with himself or our relationship, and he broke up with me. He said he loves me, but he can't be with me anymore. Now we're in the process of dividing up our home, our mutual friends, and four years of love. I want him back, but he says he will never change his mind. Is there anything I can do?

 — Heartbroken

Dear Heartbroken,

Girl, I feel your pain. But no matter how badly you’d like this to work, you can’t Super Glue a disinterested ex to your life.

So to answer your final question in a word: “No!” There’s nothing you can do — but heal. Part of your healing must include analyzing what REALLY went down over the years, and how YOU contributed to the “fights and disagreements.” Chaos is never okay because it’s “the way we were.” Relationships must offer a haven from the turbulent world, not more upheaval. Apparently, boyfriend realized that, and is choosing a new chapter. So should you!

— Dr. Gilda

Check out all my Kindle Books on Amazon.com
They are FREE for Kindle Unlimited Subscribers!

***
About: Dr. Gilda Carle is the media’s Go-To Relationship and Lifestyle Expert, serving private clients worldwide at www.DrGilda.com. She has conducted Relationship Wellness training for Columbia University Medical Center, and hosts TBN TV shows. As President of Country Cures® at www.CountryCures.org, she uniquely applies ‎Country Music to train Homeless Female Veterans in Civilian Success Skills. She has served as product spokesperson for Hallmark, Harlequin, Sprint, Cottonelle, Galderma Pharmaceuticals, Match.com, etc. She is a keynote motivational speaker, Management Consultant, Professor Emerita, and author of 17 books, including “Don’t Bet on the Prince!” (test question on “Jeopardy”) and “How to WIN When Your Mate Cheats” (literary award winner from London Book Festival). She wrote the weekly “30-Second Therapist” column for the Today Show, the “Ask Dr. Gilda” column for Match.com, and she was the ‎therapist in HBO’s Emmy Award winner, “Telling Nicholas,” featured on Oprah. She hosted MTV Online’s “Love Doc,” and was the TV host for Fox’s “Dr. Gilda” show.

Monday, July 31, 2017

My Boyfriend Is Draining Me! What Should I Do?


Q: My boyfriend and I have been together for one year. After three months, I let him convince me to move in together. He was so sweet and thoughtful at first, but now he gets insecure. He doesn't want me to hang out with anyone else, even with female friends. He acts very selfish, controlling, and immature and never wants to take responsibility for his actions. He sets a double standard, so he feels he can do something, but I can't. Plus, he's very dramatic and can nag the heck out of everybody. On top of that, he is very condescending.

I made the mistake of giving up a lot for this relationship, including my schooling, while he was just taking and taking. I love him very much, but I'm starting to reach my limit with his crap. I know he loves me, but right now love doesn't seem to be enough. He's emotionally draining me, and I'm not sure what I should do.

— Confused Girl

Dear Confused Girl,

OK, I get that your boyfriend is "insecure," "controlling," "selfish," "immature," "dramatic," "nagging," "condescending," and a "taker" rather than a "giver." With all these “great” qualities, it's obvious why you say, "I love him" and "he loves me" — NOT! Lady, it's time to advance from being a "girl" to a "woman."

Sustainable relationships must enhance your status, not “emotionally drain” you. You say you "made the mistake of giving up a lot for this relationship." Now I’m confused. Why are you still unsure of what you "should do?” Follow this Gilda-Gram:

"If you’re in a miserable union, forget a 12-Step Program; you only need two steps: Get Up, Get OUT!!” 

— Dr. Gilda

Check out all my Kindle Books on Amazon.com
They are FREE for Kindle Unlimited Subscribers!


***
About: Dr. Gilda Carle is the media’s Go-To Relationship and Lifestyle Expert, serving private clients worldwide at www.DrGilda.com. She has conducted Relationship Wellness training for Columbia University Medical Center, and hosts TBN TV shows. As President of Country Cures® at www.CountryCures.org, she uniquely applies ‎Country Music to train Homeless Female Veterans in Civilian Success Skills. She has served as product spokesperson for Hallmark, Harlequin, Sprint, Cottonelle, Galderma Pharmaceuticals, Match.com, etc. She is a keynote motivational speaker, Management Consultant, Professor Emerita, and author of 17 books, including “Don’t Bet on the Prince!” (test question on “Jeopardy”) and “How to WIN When Your Mate Cheats” (literary award winner from London Book Festival). She wrote the weekly “30-Second Therapist” column for the Today Show, the “Ask Dr. Gilda” column for Match.com, and she was the ‎therapist in HBO’s Emmy Award winner, “Telling Nicholas,” featured on Oprah. She hosted MTV Online’s “Love Doc,” and was the TV host for Fox’s “Dr. Gilda” show.

Sunday, July 30, 2017

Should I Give My Cheating Boyfriend One More Chance?


Q: I was with my boyfriend for about three years. I thought I was a great partner; I supported him when he was down — financially and emotionally — and I thought we were happy. Then I found out he was cheating with a neighbor, and this was the fifth time he had been unfaithful! I threw him out of my house.

We've been apart for six months, and he swears he will change. Now he’s crying for me to give him another chance, and when I ask who else he's seeing, he swears on his life there's no one else. But then I get into his phone records, and I find he's texting four other women. Again, he cries, begs, and tells me he needs someone to pay attention to him, since I am not there anymore. He says he can't stand life without me, and he'll do whatever it takes to get me back.

He's proven over and over that he cannot be with one woman. I offered him an open relationship and he was offended. Dare I even consider that this guy learned his lesson and is now finally ready to be honest with me and have his first grown-up relationship at 42? Yes, he's 42! Please, please help me.

 — One More Chance?

Dear One More Chance (no question mark!),

Dude got caught cheating, and now he says "he will change." "Will" is the operative word here. If he hasn’t yet, why should he now? Yet you are "daring" to "even consider that this guy learned his lesson and can be honest" now and is "finally ready to have his first grown-up relationship." Honey, you're living on Uranus! What would make the dude suddenly ready — at 42?

Face the facts: He admits that "he needs someone to pay attention to him." Translation: You'll have to breast-feed the infant 24/7 so he constantly feels nurtured. IS THIS REALLY OK WITH YOU? As you’ve considered an “open relationship,” and now a reunion, I’m afraid you're the one who needs to grow up!

— Dr. Gilda


Check out all my Kindle Books on Amazon.com
They are FREE for Kindle Unlimited Subscribers!

***
About: Dr. Gilda Carle is the media’s Go-To Relationship and Lifestyle Expert, serving private clients worldwide at www.DrGilda.com. She has conducted Relationship Wellness training for Columbia University Medical Center, and hosts TBN TV shows. As President of Country Cures® at www.CountryCures.org, she uniquely applies ‎Country Music to train Homeless Female Veterans in Civilian Success Skills. She has served as product spokesperson for Hallmark, Harlequin, Sprint, Cottonelle, Galderma Pharmaceuticals, Match.com, etc. She is a keynote motivational speaker, Management Consultant, Professor Emerita, and author of 17 books, including “Don’t Bet on the Prince!” (test question on “Jeopardy”) and “How to WIN When Your Mate Cheats” (literary award winner from London Book Festival). She wrote the weekly “30-Second Therapist” column for the Today Show, the “Ask Dr. Gilda” column for Match.com, and she was the ‎therapist in HBO’s Emmy Award winner, “Telling Nicholas,” featured on Oprah. She hosted MTV Online’s “Love Doc,” and was the TV host for Fox’s “Dr. Gilda” show.

Friday, July 28, 2017

Help! How Do I Make My Ex Love Me Again?

Q: I love this woman and want a second chance. Less than a month ago, my girlfriend and I ended our relationship. We have been friends since high school and stayed in touch for nine years. Recently, we started dating for six months. I was in a bad state after a seven-year relationship, but this girl was there for me, and helped bring me back to my old self. Even though we were in relationships, we hooked up a few times, and now have a lot of history. When she walked out, she said we moved too fast, and there’s no going back. However, she still texts me asking how I am, or just to chat. I deleted her from my Facebook because it hurt too much to see our pictures. This upset her. I truly believe we are meant for each other, but do you think I should let it go? I'm so confused. I would do anything to show her that I am the man she thought I was.

—Still Longing

Dear Still Longing,

Whoa, what kind of “man” did your girlfriend think you were? When you dated, you were a hot mess in need of rehab. A healthy woman looking for love avoids such catastrophes. But neither of you were healthy; she was cheating on her partner, as you were on yours. She partook in your sexual healing, but whatever her motives, stop interpreting them as “love.” Heed this Gilda-Gram™:


Girlfriend “walked out” after biting from your apple, but is peeved you’ve erased the reminder of her wormy core. Yes, you “should let [this player] go”! Be grateful she got you past your pain, but be thrilled that she left!

—Dr. Gilda

Check out all my books on Amazon.com
They are FREE for Kindle Unlimited Subscribers!


***
About: Dr. Gilda Carle is the media’s Go-To Relationship and Lifestyle Expert, serving private clients worldwide at www.DrGilda.com. She has conducted Relationship Wellness training for Columbia University Medical Center, and hosts TBN TV shows. As President of Country Cures® at www.CountryCures.org, she uniquely applies ‎Country Music to train Homeless Female Veterans in Civilian Success Skills. She has served as product spokesperson for Hallmark, Harlequin, Sprint, Cottonelle, Galderma Pharmaceuticals, Match.com, etc. She is a keynote motivational speaker, Management Consultant, Professor Emerita, and author of 17 books, including “Don’t Bet on the Prince!” (test question on “Jeopardy”) and “How to WIN When Your Mate Cheats” (literary award winner from London Book Festival). She wrote the weekly “30-Second Therapist” column for the Today Show, the “Ask Dr. Gilda” column for Match.com, and she was the ‎therapist in HBO’s Emmy Award winner, “Telling Nicholas,” featured on Oprah. She hosted MTV Online’s “Love Doc,” and was the TV host for Fox’s “Dr. Gilda” show.

Thursday, July 27, 2017

Why Do I Date Unattainable Men?


Q: I'm sincerely trying to figure out why I date unattainable men. They're either married or long distance or in some other way unattainable. I can't figure out why. My childhood was one of chaos: my parents constantly fought, my mother would neglect my younger sister and I for days on end while she would go through one of her depression episodes, and our dad would just turn a blind eye to it all. My sister and I would have to take care of ourselves, which we did pretty well. We now own a house and went to college, but are still co-dependent with each other, even though we're in our 30s. My relationships have all been rocky, and the last one I finally ended had been going on for 10 plus years with a married older man. I'm scared of marriage because my parents' marriage was horrific. I want to grow and lead a productive life with a man, but I am wary of relationships.

—Afraid to Love

Dear Afraid to Love,

Your parents were “constantly” fighting, your mom was depressed, and your father wussed out in managing the chaos. Since you assessed men as weak, unreliable and “unattainable,” this is the type to whom you naturally gravitate.

However, you and your sister “did pretty well” in bonding and protecting each other to evolve to strong female survivors! Girl, count those blessings and list all your alpha traits. Take that list to a therapist, and from this day forward, focus only on those assets. Also surround yourself with people in healthy relationships, so you see how enriching love can be. When you deliberately build positive templates, you’ll conceive and receive the love you want.

—Dr. Gilda

Check out all my Kindle Books on Amazon.com
They are FREE for Kindle Unlimited Subscribers!


***
About: Dr. Gilda Carle is the media’s Go-To Relationship and Lifestyle Expert, serving private clients worldwide at www.DrGilda.com. She has conducted Relationship Wellness training for Columbia University Medical Center, and hosts TBN TV shows. As President of Country Cures® at www.CountryCures.org, she uniquely applies ‎Country Music to train Homeless Female Veterans in Civilian Success Skills. She has served as product spokesperson for Hallmark, Harlequin, Sprint, Cottonelle, Galderma Pharmaceuticals, Match.com, etc. She is a keynote motivational speaker, Management Consultant, Professor Emerita, and author of 17 books, including “Don’t Bet on the Prince!” (test question on “Jeopardy”) and “How to WIN When Your Mate Cheats” (literary award winner from London Book Festival). She wrote the weekly “30-Second Therapist” column for the Today Show, the “Ask Dr. Gilda” column for Match.com, and she was the ‎therapist in HBO’s Emmy Award winner, “Telling Nicholas,” featured on Oprah. She hosted MTV Online’s “Love Doc,” and was the TV host for Fox’s “Dr. Gilda” show.

My Cheating Husband Lost Our Money. What Do I Do?


Q: My husband and I have been married for 32 years. We have seven wonderful children and seven grandchildren. He has often "chased rainbows" financially, lost our dream home in some overseas investments that turned out to be a scam, lost lots of money to his foolish decisions, and filed bankruptcy three times. Sixteen months ago, I had a gut feeling that something wasn't right. He was making poor financial decisions again, and trying to talk family members into doing the same. While uncovering this activity, I discovered porn on his phone and our home computer. He allowed my older boys to take the blame. I also found his profile on a website for married cheaters. I was devastated. To top it off, he started seeing a female psychic with whom he fell in love. They both admitted their romantic feelings for each other, but to this day, they refuse to discontinue contact, saying they will "just remain friends." My husband does not want a divorce; he wants his cake and wants to eat it, too. I am broken-hearted and devastated.

— Loving Wife

Dear Loving,

You've been a doormat for over three decades, while Hubby's been in Fantasia, bankrupting your family, searching for cheating partners, purveying porn sites, blaming your sons, and refusing to leave his latest "love"! Woman, dude's abusive — and he's eating his cake on the table you've set! As my Gilda-Gram says, 


Your move is next!

Prepare your artillery:

1. Stop playing "broken-hearted and devastated "victim." Read my book, "Don't Bet on the Prince!," and convert your lower case "i" ("Boo, hoo, i've been played.") into capital "I" ("I am done!).

2. Accept the humor in this debacle: Hubby's with a "psychic" who can't "see" him as the loser he is. They deserve each other!

Apply the power you haven't realized you've had all these years.

— Dr. Gilda

Check out all my Kindle Books on Amazon.com
They are FREE for Kindle Unlimited Subscribers!


***
About: Dr. Gilda Carle is the media’s Go-To Relationship and Lifestyle Expert, serving private clients worldwide at www.DrGilda.com. She has conducted Relationship Wellness training for Columbia University Medical Center, and hosts TBN TV shows. As President of Country Cures® at www.CountryCures.org, she uniquely applies ‎Country Music to train Homeless Female Veterans in Civilian Success Skills. She has served as product spokesperson for Hallmark, Harlequin, Sprint, Cottonelle, Galderma Pharmaceuticals, Match.com, etc. She is a keynote motivational speaker, Management Consultant, Professor Emerita, and author of 17 books, including “Don’t Bet on the Prince!” (test question on “Jeopardy”) and “How to WIN When Your Mate Cheats” (literary award winner from London Book Festival). She wrote the weekly “30-Second Therapist” column for the Today Show, the “Ask Dr. Gilda” column for Match.com, and she was the ‎therapist in HBO’s Emmy Award winner, “Telling Nicholas,” featured on Oprah. She hosted MTV Online’s “Love Doc,” and was the TV host for Fox’s “Dr. Gilda” show.

Wednesday, July 26, 2017

Sugar Daddy Wanting Girlfriend


Q: I am a 46-year-old man with two children. I caught my last girlfriend of 7 months cheating. She appeared to be happy as a part of my ready-made family, but in the end, I guess she needed something different. She is 17 years my junior, and like a lot of women, she says she likes men my age. It is good for my ego to date younger women, but I’m concerned about our future. Why do younger women prefer older men with kids?

— Sugar Daddy Wanting Girlfriend

Dear Sugar Daddy,

Anthropologically, men want “honey” to breed beautiful offspring, and women want “money” to sustain the progeny. Older guys with kids are presumably established and can support their younger mates. But soon they complain their nubile nymphs seek only their resources, while the sirens tire of father figures too sedentary for their wild hearts.

You admit, “It is good for my ego to date younger women.” Duh, daddy! Do you want arm candy or love? You worry, “I’m concerned about our future.” You should be! My Gilda-Gram asserts, “To sustain love, park your ego and reveal your truth.” Dude, if you don’t end the affect, each new babe will continue to flee that boring bassinet you share.

 —Dr. Gilda

Check out all my Kindle Books on Amazon.com
All Free for Kindle Unlimited Subscribers!


***
About: Dr. Gilda Carle is the media’s Go-To Relationship and Lifestyle Expert, serving private clients worldwide at www.DrGilda.com. She has conducted Relationship Wellness training for Columbia University Medical Center, and hosts TBN TV shows. As President of Country Cures® at www.CountryCures.org, she uniquely applies ‎Country Music to train Homeless Female Veterans in Civilian Success Skills. She has served as product spokesperson for Hallmark, Harlequin, Sprint, Cottonelle, Galderma Pharmaceuticals, Match.com, etc. She is a keynote motivational speaker, Management Consultant, Professor Emerita, and author of 17 books, including “Don’t Bet on the Prince!” (test question on “Jeopardy”) and “How to WIN When Your Mate Cheats” (literary award winner from London Book Festival). She wrote the weekly “30-Second Therapist” column for the Today Show, the “Ask Dr. Gilda” column for Match.com, and she was the ‎therapist in HBO’s Emmy Award winner, “Telling Nicholas,” featured on Oprah. She hosted MTV Online’s “Love Doc,” and was the TV host for Fox’s “Dr. Gilda” show.

Sunday, July 23, 2017

Are Men Turned Off Because I'm ‘Curvy’?



Q: I am a curvy girl, size 12. My online dating profile says I'm curvy, and my pictures show that. I am active and I have big boobs and big hips. I'm not fat, but I'm not skinny or slender or average. I find that the men I meet don't know what they want. In fact, they've been very rude to me, some actually telling me to lose weight. Will I ever be able to find love?

—Curvy Girl Needs Love

Dear Curvy,

Visualize “curvy” as a gorgeous woman such as Ashley Graham, Queen Latifah, or someone else. While this word apparently elicits “fat” for some men, describe your body type to males using one of these women’s names.

When I was in college, I gained—then lost—20 pounds. Two years later, I bumped into a guy I had dated earlier, who said my body had become much too thin! So, girlfriend, thin is not appealing to all men. Today, the dress size of the average American woman is 14—which actually makes you underweight by such standards! It’s all in your packaging. Think of yourself as beautiful, and you’ll project yourself as beautiful—and attract a man who finds your curves delicious.

 —Dr. Gilda

Check out all my Kindle Books on Amazon.com



***
About: Dr. Gilda Carle is the media’s Go-To Relationship and Lifestyle Expert, serving private clients worldwide at www.DrGilda.com. She has conducted Relationship Wellness training for Columbia University Medical Center, and hosts TBN TV shows. As President of Country Cures® at www.CountryCures.org, she uniquely applies Country Music to train Homeless Female Veterans in Civilian Success Skills. She has served as product spokesperson for Hallmark, Harlequin, Sprint, Cottonelle, Galderma Pharmaceuticals, Match.com, etc. She is a keynote motivational speaker, Management Consultant, Professor Emerita, and author of 17 books, including “Don’t Bet on the Prince!” (test question on “Jeopardy”) and “How to WIN When Your Mate Cheats” (literary award winner from London Book Festival). She wrote the weekly “30-Second Therapist” column for the Today Show, the “Ask Dr. Gilda” column for Match.com, and she was the therapist in HBOs Emmy Award winner, Telling Nicholas, featured on Oprah. She hosted MTV Onlines Love Doc,” and was the TV host for Fox’s “Dr. Gilda” show.


Thursday, July 20, 2017

Why Do I Sabotage My Relationships?


Q: I seem to always find myself in a relationship, even when I'm not looking to be in one. Around the third year, I start to get antsy and seem to sabotage the relationship somehow. We get very close to an engagement and a marriage and I take off running. I've thrown away many wonderful men and relationships and make myself feel like I don't deserve a happily ever after. What's wrong with me?

—Runaway Bride

Dear Runaway,
There are three simple steps to loving: hook ‘em, hug ‘em, and hold ‘em. Apparently, you do the first two quite well. And girl, I know tons of women who’d like to learn your secret of always being in a relationship! 
But you’re correct: you feel you don’t deserve love. To pump up your ego—and theirs—you play guys’ heart strings like harp strings. Men stick with you because hunters love the challenge of winning their prey. But three long years of superficial love games? Are you kidding? Either you should win an Oscar, or your paramours are awfully dense!
Reality check, please! You and your men need depth perception. Loving requires mutual caring beyond the shallow wining and dining!  How many three-year letdowns do you think your dating life will withstand?
 —Dr. Gilda

Check out all my Kindle Books on Amazon.com.



***
About: Dr. Gilda Carle is the media’s Go-To Relationship and Lifestyle Expert, serving private clients worldwide at www.DrGilda.com. She has conducted Relationship Wellness training for Columbia University Medical Center, and hosts TBN TV shows. As President of Country Cures® at www.CountryCures.org, she uniquely applies ‎Country Music to train Homeless Female Veterans in Civilian Success Skills. She has served as product spokesperson for Hallmark, Harlequin, Sprint, Cottonelle, Galderma Pharmaceuticals, Match.com, etc. She is a keynote motivational speaker, Management Consultant, Professor Emerita, and author of 17 books, including “Don’t Bet on the Prince!” (test question on “Jeopardy”) and “How to WIN When Your Mate Cheats” (literary award winner from London Book Festival). She wrote the weekly “30-Second Therapist” column for the Today Show, the “Ask Dr. Gilda” column for Match.com, and she was the ‎therapist in HBO’s Emmy Award winner, “Telling Nicholas,” featured on Oprah. She hosted MTV Online’s “Love Doc,” and was the TV host for Fox’s “Dr. Gilda” show.

Wednesday, July 19, 2017

Is it Wrong To Pursue Someone In A Relationship?

Click to view video response to this question.



Check out all my Kindle Books on Amazon.com 


***
About: Dr. Gilda Carle is the media’s Go-To Relationship and Lifestyle Expert, serving private clients worldwide at www.DrGilda.com. She has conducted Relationship Wellness training for Columbia University Medical Center, and hosts TBN TV shows. As President of Country Cures® at www.CountryCures.org, she uniquely applies ‎Country Music to train Homeless Female Veterans in Civilian Success Skills. She has served as product spokesperson for Hallmark, Harlequin, Sprint, Cottonelle, Galderma Pharmaceuticals, Match.com, etc. She is a keynote motivational speaker, Management Consultant, Professor Emerita, and author of 17 books, including “Don’t Bet on the Prince!” (test question on “Jeopardy”) and “How to WIN When Your Mate Cheats” (literary award winner from London Book Festival). She wrote the weekly “30-Second Therapist” column for the Today Show, the “Ask Dr. Gilda” column for Match.com, and she was the ‎therapist in HBO’s Emmy Award winner, “Telling Nicholas,” featured on Oprah. She hosted MTV Online’s “Love Doc,” and was the TV host for Fox’s “Dr. Gilda” show.

Why Don't Women Like ‘Nice Guys’?


Q: I'm one of those "nice guys" who gets complimented on the way he treats the woman he's with, and women in general. However, I always end up getting the soul crushing, "you're a nice guy, but not for me" good-bye; the "there's someone out there for you, but it's not me" statement or the "I love you, but not that way" speech. Each feels like an acid-dipped knife slowly being twisted in my wound.

What does it take to be more than the "too-nice-to-date" guy friend who wears his heart on his sleeve, but never gets to be the boyfriend?  Do I have to become the heartless guy that women seem to swoon over?

—Nice Guys Finish Last


Dear Nice Guy,

Here’s the Dr. Gilda nice guy mantra:




You identify yourself as someone who “wears his heart on his sleeve.” Kill that description! It positions your heart for personal nose-wiping and brow-mopping—and housekeeping is not the intended purpose of your precious fourth chakra.

The options of being either a rejected victim or “heartless” are harsh extremes. You’re intentionally attracting unlikely partners to confirm your feelings as a loser in love.  Dude, swallow a dose of self-regard, and cease struggling so hard. Inspiration, not desperation, is what attracts. When you’re fully equipped with a sturdy spine, appropriate women will join your fan club.

—Dr. Gilda



Check out all my Kindle Books on Amazon.com



***
About: Dr. Gilda Carle is the media’s Go-To Relationship and Lifestyle Expert, serving private clients worldwide at www.DrGilda.com. She has conducted Relationship Wellness training for Columbia University Medical Center, and hosts TBN TV shows. As President of Country Cures® at www.CountryCures.org, she uniquely applies ‎Country Music to train Homeless Female Veterans in Civilian Success Skills. She has served as product spokesperson for Hallmark, Harlequin, Sprint, Cottonelle, Galderma Pharmaceuticals, Match.com, etc. She is a keynote motivational speaker, Management Consultant, Professor Emerita, and author of 17 books, including “Don’t Bet on the Prince!” (test question on “Jeopardy”) and “How to WIN When Your Mate Cheats” (literary award winner from London Book Festival). She wrote the weekly “30-Second Therapist” column for the Today Show, the “Ask Dr. Gilda” column for Match.com, and she was the ‎therapist in HBO’s Emmy Award winner, “Telling Nicholas,” featured on Oprah. She hosted MTV Online’s “Love Doc,” and was the TV host for Fox’s “Dr. Gilda” show.

My Ex Wants To Be Friends And Roommates



Q: My live-in girlfriend ended our relationship, but she has asked me to be friends and not move out. I am in love with her, and am having a hard time letting go. I asked her if we can try to be friends if I do move out. She said no, because she can’t afford the house without me. What do I do?

—Stuck

Dear Stuck,

So your ex wants you as a “friend” with financial benefits?  Excuse me, but what would the benefits of that arrangement be for you? Ex-lovers can never be “friends” right after a breakup because of the errant emotions still hanging loose.

If she can’t afford the house without you, let her find another roommate. She knows how you feel about her, but, as Jo Dee Messina sings, her “give a damn’s busted.” My Gilda-Gram directs, “Seek respect before love.” Girlfriend wants you in her space, but not in her heart. Oh, really? “Selfish user” is what comes to my mind!  Move out, move on, and move up to someone who cares.

—Dr. Gilda


Check out all my Kindle Books on my Amazon.com


***
About: Dr. Gilda Carle is the media’s Go-To Relationship and Lifestyle Expert, serving private clients worldwide at www.DrGilda.com. She has conducted Relationship Wellness training for Columbia University Medical Center, and hosts TBN TV shows. As President of Country Cures® at www.CountryCures.org, she uniquely applies ‎Country Music to train Homeless Female Veterans in Civilian Success Skills. She has served as product spokesperson for Hallmark, Harlequin, Sprint, Cottonelle, Galderma Pharmaceuticals, Match.com, etc. She is a keynote motivational speaker, Management Consultant, Professor Emerita, and author of 17 books, including “Don’t Bet on the Prince!” (test question on “Jeopardy”) and “How to WIN When Your Mate Cheats” (literary award winner from London Book Festival). She wrote the weekly “30-Second Therapist” column for the Today Show, the “Ask Dr. Gilda” column for Match.com, and she was the ‎therapist in HBO’s Emmy Award winner, “Telling Nicholas,” featured on Oprah. She hosted MTV Online’s “Love Doc,” and was the TV host for Fox’s “Dr. Gilda” show.

Tuesday, July 18, 2017

Is Bad Sex License To Cheat?



Q. I'm 46 and my wife of 13 years is 39. When we first met, the sex was great, and she was fun to be around. I make six figures and can easily support us, but my wife wants to work full-time. We have two sons, 8 and 11. We have a maid, gardener, and my mom to baby-sit when we need her. My wife is always stressed and tired, and sex is horrible, rushed and infrequent. She's never in the mood and she's always stressed. She has been seeing a therapist, but nothing’s changed. I go outside the marriage for (safe) sex on a regular basis. I don't want to destroy my kids’ lives and cause problems, but I need sex. My wife appears to know, although I deny it. When we do have sex, it's great. But my needs aren’t being met due to its infrequency. I have gotten on her about following up with her stress problem and low sex drive. She was on medication recently, but went off it.
I love my wife very, very much and am still very sexually attracted to her. I generally touch her so much she gets sick of it, and she is not interested in being affectionate. Am I doing the right thing by doing things this way?

—Starving for Sex


Dear Starving,

You say, “Sex is horrible, rushed and infrequent,” and you also say, “When we do have sex, it's great.” Make up your mind, man! You blame your wife’s disinterest in sex on a job YOU don’t think she needs since YOU’RE such a superb wage earner. And when you don’t get your way, you grab her “so much she gets sick of it.” Then you’re on her case about her stress and low sex drive?

You ask whether you’re using the right approach. Duh! You’ll never get affection by bullying and cheating.

Research says working women are stressed because of guilt they feel from leaving their families. Do you suffer guilt when you’re tucked in elsewhere? Try supporting your wife’s efforts! Sir, when you reinforce her dreams, maybe then she’ll reinforce yours!

 —Dr. Gilda

Check out all my Kindle Books on my Amazon.com author's page.


***
About: Dr. Gilda Carle is the media’s Go-To Relationship and Lifestyle Expert, serving private clients worldwide at www.DrGilda.com. She has conducted Relationship Wellness training for Columbia University Medical Center, and hosts TBN TV shows. As President of Country Cures® at www.CountryCures.org, she uniquely applies ‎Country Music to train Homeless Female Veterans in Civilian Success Skills. She has served as product spokesperson for Hallmark, Harlequin, Sprint, Cottonelle, Galderma Pharmaceuticals, Match.com, etc. She is a keynote motivational speaker, Management Consultant, Professor Emerita, and author of 17 books, including “Don’t Bet on the Prince!” (test question on “Jeopardy”) and “How to WIN When Your Mate Cheats” (literary award winner from London Book Festival). She wrote the weekly “30-Second Therapist” column for the Today Show, the “Ask Dr. Gilda” column for Match.com, and she was the ‎therapist in HBO’s Emmy Award winner, “Telling Nicholas,” featured on Oprah. She hosted MTV Online’s “Love Doc,” and was the TV host for Fox’s “Dr. Gilda” show.

Monday, July 17, 2017

Who’s Got Your Back? by Dr. Gilda Carle



The expression, “I’ve got your back” means “I’m looking out for you” and “I’ve got you covered, in case anyone badmouths you.”  The meaning of this expression is the same as “I’ve got your 6,” which comes from the military.  The “6” reflects the hour on a clock, with 12 o’clock in front of you, and 6 o’clock behind you.  Have the guys you liked had your 6??

In November 2015, Charlie Sheen announced he had tested positive for HIV four years earlier.  HIV is the virus that causes AIDS.  Sheen’s disclosure came years after he had bragged about all the drugs he had taken, and the 5,000 women he had bedded.   He also shockingly admitted he had sex without a condom after his diagnosis.  Then, it was reported that he was caught on video smoking crack and performing oral sex on another man in 2011, the same year he was diagnosed with HIV.

Question to you, my reader:  Did Charlie Sheen have the backs of the women he might have infected with this deadly virus?

As soon as she found out that Charlie Sheen had HIV, Jenny McCarthy blasted him.  She had played his love interest several times on “Two and a Half Men,” from 2007 to 2011.  She revealed she had to sign on-set releases about her having herpes cold sores, which could be contagious—but not deadly.  So how was it okay, she wondered, for Sheen not to disclose his infection with HIV?  Many other women had also played his love interest on the TV show.

Jenny McCarthy continued that before she married Donnie Wahlberg, when she was single and wanted to have sex with a guy, she insisted that he get an HIV test.  She said, “There is nothing I want to do dumb enough to get any type of disease.  I have to live forever for my (autistic) kid.  So I wouldn’t sleep with anyone until I got the right paperwork.”

McCarthy called what Sheen had concealed as “not fair and scary.”  Other women with whom he had sex called it worse than that.

Charlie Sheen was reckless.  And his sex partners were so numerous, who knows what the ramifications will eventually be?  Was the thrill of having sex with a famous actor more important to these women than protecting themselves from a deadly disease?  Apparently, it was—and it’s too bad, because Sheen surely didn’t have these women’s best interests—or their backs—when he bedded them.  Even after the news of Sheen’s HIV status broke, he told a tabloid, “I should have been more responsible, and more concerned for myself [before he contracted the disease].”  Note his concern for himself only!

Does the guy of your dreams inconvenience himself to make you happy?  Does he defend you from mean people?  Has he got your 6?  Guys who “have your back,” or guys who “have your 6,” are guys who really and truly CARE.  When a guy doesn’t protect and defend his girlfriend, that girl becomes deeply hurt.  Until now, did you even consider the necessity for a guy to cover your 6?

Some celebrities have.  Kim Kardashian, Britney Spears, Heidi Klum, Kate Gosselin, Amy Winehouse, and Scarlett Johansson were romantically linked to their bodyguards.  These guys won the stars’ trust by spending much time with them to provide their safety.  It’s also the reason the 1992 movie, The Bodyguard, with Whitney Houston and Kevin Costner was such a hit.  Even if a woman doesn’t voice this, every single one of us wants to know our guy will protect us from possible harm.

The only problem is  . . .

Check out all my Kindle Books on my Amazon.com author's page. 

***
About: Dr. Gilda Carle is the media’s Go-To Relationship and Lifestyle Expert, serving private clients worldwide at www.DrGilda.com. She has conducted Relationship Wellness training for Columbia University Medical Center, and hosts TBN TV shows. As President of Country Cures® at www.CountryCures.org, she uniquely applies ‎Country Music to train Homeless Female Veterans in Civilian Success Skills. She has served as product spokesperson for Hallmark, Harlequin, Sprint, Cottonelle, Galderma Pharmaceuticals, Match.com, etc. She is a keynote motivational speaker, Management Consultant, Professor Emerita, and author of 17 books, including “Don’t Bet on the Prince!” (test question on “Jeopardy”) and “How to WIN When Your Mate Cheats” (literary award winner from London Book Festival). She wrote the weekly “30-Second Therapist” column for the Today Show, the “Ask Dr. Gilda” column for Match.com, and she was the ‎therapist in HBO’s Emmy Award winner, “Telling Nicholas,” featured on Oprah. She hosted MTV Online’s “Love Doc,” and was the TV host for Fox’s “Dr. Gilda” show.

I Was Dumped Over Text Message-- But Now I Miss My Ex!



Q: Five weeks ago, the love of my life sent me a goodbye text. When Fridays come around, I feel hopeless with nothing to do on the weekends. I miss this woman very much. I have two questions: 1) Can broken relationships be repaired? If so, how can I rekindle this one? 2) If our relationship can’t be saved, what can I do to move on? I admit that I’m not there yet, but if I were to date someone, all I’d think about would be my ex. Right now, I’m in terrible emotional pain. Please help!

—Missing My Ex

Dear Missing,

As a relationship therapist, I guide couples to fix their issues. But both people must want the fix. Since your ex delivered her goodbye through a cold, non-negotiable text, consider this caper kaput. Right now, beyond work, you're boring! True, you’re not ready for new romance, but before you are, get a life! My Gilda-Gram® explains, “Your primary relationship must be the one you have with yourself.”



This is your time to pursue unmet goals. Make yourself interesting, and you’ll attract an interested mate.  When that new love appears, hear the Rascal Flatts song, “Bless the Broken Road,” that says, “Every long lost dream led me to where you are…” You’ll know why your former love didn’t last; this one will be better—because you are!

 —Dr. Gilda

Check out all my Kindle Books on my Amazon.com author's page. 


***
About: Dr. Gilda Carle is the media’s Go-To Relationship and Lifestyle Expert, serving private clients worldwide at www.DrGilda.com. She has conducted Relationship Wellness training for Columbia University Medical Center, and hosts TBN TV shows. As President of Country Cures® at www.CountryCures.org, she uniquely applies ‎Country Music to train Homeless Female Veterans in Civilian Success Skills. She has served as product spokesperson for Hallmark, Harlequin, Sprint, Cottonelle, Galderma Pharmaceuticals, Match.com, etc. She is a keynote motivational speaker, Management Consultant, Professor Emerita, and author of 17 books, including “Don’t Bet on the Prince!” (test question on “Jeopardy”) and “How to WIN When Your Mate Cheats” (literary award winner from London Book Festival). She wrote the weekly “30-Second Therapist” column for the Today Show, the “Ask Dr. Gilda” column for Match.com, and she was the ‎therapist in HBO’s Emmy Award winner, “Telling Nicholas,” featured on Oprah. She hosted MTV Online’s “Love Doc,” and was the TV host for Fox’s “Dr. Gilda” show.

Thursday, July 13, 2017

Why Won't My Boyfriend Invite Me to His Home?


Q: I have been dating my boyfriend for five months. We met online, and he lives in another town. We see each other occasionally during the week, or on weekends. It’s been five months, and I have yet to be invited to his place, although he has come to mine. He has also been reluctant about meeting my family. Should I be concerned? I have talked about it with him, but have never received a valid response

 —Let’s Get On With It!


Dear Let’s,

Girlfriend, apparently, dude is fine with this arrangement. As my Gilda-Gram™ warns, “Talk informs, but behavior reveals.” He hasn’t invited you to his place because he doesn’t want you to know any more about him than you already do. And he hasn’t responded to your whining to get closer because he doesn’t want to even address it. Drop the title “boyfriend,” since this guy you barely know likes the superficiality of whatever it is you share.

You can either wait it out until — and if — he ever comes around, or date other men. For all you know, he’s wildly on the move at his locale. One thing is certain, however: The more you push, the more he’ll pull.

 —Dr. Gilda

Check out all my Kindle Books on Amazon.com. 


***
About: Dr. Gilda Carle is the media’s Go-To Relationship and Lifestyle Expert, serving private clients worldwide at www.DrGilda.com. She has conducted Relationship Wellness training for Columbia University Medical Center, and hosts TBN TV shows. As President of Country Cures® at www.CountryCures.org, she uniquely applies ‎Country Music to train Homeless Female Veterans in Civilian Success Skills. She has served as product spokesperson for Hallmark, Harlequin, Sprint, Cottonelle, Galderma Pharmaceuticals, Match.com, etc. She is a keynote motivational speaker, Management Consultant, Professor Emerita, and author of 17 books, including “Don’t Bet on the Prince!” (test question on “Jeopardy”) and “How to WIN When Your Mate Cheats” (literary award winner from London Book Festival). She wrote the weekly “30-Second Therapist” column for the Today Show, the “Ask Dr. Gilda” column for Match.com, and she was the ‎therapist in HBO’s Emmy Award winner, “Telling Nicholas,” featured on Oprah. She hosted MTV Online’s “Love Doc,” and was the TV host for Fox’s “Dr. Gilda” show.

"How Do I Know If It's a Date or Just Business?"



Q: I am a single woman who works at the top level of management in a traditionally male business. Professionally, I come into contact with a lot of men each day. Every so often, I will be asked to coffee to talk business, to tour another organization or to take part in some other activity by individuals who do not work for the organization but are business partners, committee members, etc. Many of these men are unmarried and of a similar age. I have taken these meetings, and have acted professionally and have stayed on the topic of the business throughout our interaction. However, I have had the feeling that perhaps some of these men had actually asked me on a date. In appropriate situations (when they are not closely involved with the organization), I might consider dating them. In other circumstances, it is not appropriate and I do not want to give the impression of having done anything that does not seem right. How can I better tell if they are asking for a date or if it is indeed business that they are interested in before I accept a "meeting"?

—Confused Professional

"A vast majority of interpersonal messages are transmitted through body language (55 percent) and vocal intonation (38 percent)."
Dear Confused,

Career professionals often refrain from pursuing personal interests because of sexual harassment lawsuits and other complications. Despite that, plenty of couples do meet at work. A vast majority of interpersonal messages are transmitted through body language (55 percent) and vocal intonation (38 percent). These nonverbal vibes trump the meager impact of words. So if you sense interest, trust your gut’s veracity. When appropriate, encourage interest by smiling and extending eye contact beyond the cordial five seconds. If you’re still uncertain, request the agenda of a suggested “meeting.” But even then, note that words are easier to spin than nonverbal cues. Surely a departure for successful concrete thinkers, proficiency in reading messages without words is a vital skill to hone.

 —Dr. Gilda

Check out all my Kindle Books on my Amazon.com author's page!
http://amazon.com/author/drgilda

***
About: Dr. Gilda Carle is the media’s Go-To Relationship and Lifestyle Expert, serving private clients worldwide at www.DrGilda.com. She has conducted Relationship Wellness training for Columbia University Medical Center, and hosts TBN TV shows. As President of Country Cures® at www.CountryCures.org, she uniquely applies ‎Country Music to train Homeless Female Veterans in Civilian Success Skills. She has served as product spokesperson for Hallmark, Harlequin, Sprint, Cottonelle, Galderma Pharmaceuticals, Match.com, etc. She is a keynote motivational speaker, Management Consultant, Professor Emerita, and author of 17 books, including “Don’t Bet on the Prince!” (test question on “Jeopardy”) and “How to WIN When Your Mate Cheats” (literary award winner from London Book Festival). She wrote the weekly “30-Second Therapist” column for the Today Show, the “Ask Dr. Gilda” column for Match.com, and she was the ‎therapist in HBO’s Emmy Award winner, “Telling Nicholas,” featured on Oprah. She hosted MTV Online’s “Love Doc,” and was the TV host for Fox’s “Dr. Gilda” show.