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Friday, March 29, 2013

TODAY'S RELATIONSHIP QUESTION


RELATIONSHIP QUESTION FOR TODAY
from
Dr. Gilda Carle

Q: I am a 50-year-old woman, and I married my first serious boyfriend when I was 21. We had five children, and divorced after 15 years of marriage. I've been dating for the last 14 years. I've finally met a man I like. He's 49 years old and we want the same things. He lived in Germany for years, he was in the military, and after his tour, he married a German woman, to whom he was married for 14 years. He’s now divorced, and we’re trying to have a relationship, but he isn't like the men I’ve dated.  He doesn’t offer to do nice things for me. It’s not that I need him to take care of me, but I’m used to men buying me flowers and other things just because.  He feels that taking me to the movies and dinner at casual restaurants is romantic! I guess I’ve just been spoiled all my life, and this guy is not what I'm used to. What should I do? He never offers me money for pampering, shopping or just for gas. Am I being selfish? —Unsure
Dear Unsure, It’s not a matter of being “spoiled” or “selfish;” it’s just that the two of you express love in different terms. The book, “The Five Love Languages” explains that you appreciate gifts to show adoration, while your partner values engaging in quality time. Add that variation to the fact that your guy’s been living in another culture, and accustomed to other standards.
“Want[ing] the same things” is just one ingredient for happiness. Now you must discuss your love language preferences. Until this is resolved, you’ll continue to feel “unsure” of boyfriend’s commitment. Attention all couples! The way in which thorny issues are resolved will determine the shelf life of your love! 
—Dr. Gilda  
READERS, DID I GET IT RIGHT?

WHAT'S YOUR LOVE PREFERENCE?


Different Preferences for Love’s Expression

Dr. Gilda Carle
30-Second Therapist
Today Show

How would you like your honey to show you love? In this week’s “30-Second Therapist,” a woman questions her BF’s commitment because his expression of love doesn’t match her expectations.  Another woman says she doesn’t want to be alone, yet she “can’t stand living with a man.” Ya can’t make this stuff up!! 


See my responses, and let me know what YOU think!

Happy Holidays, and Be Well!

Love,
Dr. Gilda

Friday, March 22, 2013

SHE WAS INTO ME . . . OR SO I THOUGHT!!


She Said She Was Into Me, Then Suddenly Dumped Me

Dr. Gilda Carle
30-Second Therapist
Today Show

Especially during horizontal heat, cheap talk flows!  So believe only what behavior SHOWS during vertical positioning. 

This week’s “30-Second Therapist” hears from two very sad guys who just got shafted by their ladies.

Do you think each breakup was justified?  I love your comments!

XXX

Today we spent hours converting my personal FB page to my fan page to allow for more friends.  Hundreds of people asking to friend me had to be turned away because I was over FB’s 5,000 cutoff.  So now we’re rolling again, and starting all the photos and info from scratch.  Cleansing is a beautiful thing.  In fact, I’m doing the same thing in my home, to make room for some amazing new things and people.  Do you cleanse periodically?  If not, try it; I feel freer and more receptive now.

Love,
Dr. Gilda


Friday, March 15, 2013

KIM & KANYE--APART





kim kanye separate for too long
It’s been 11 days since Kim Kardashian and Kanye West last spent time together!!
Now that may not seem like a long time apart, but for a six months pregnant mama-to-be, relationship experts are saying it’s a “crucial” period to miss.
Why such a big deal? Today Show’s Dr. Gilda Carle explains to sources:
“Face time is crucial while a woman is carrying her man’s child. Especially during pregnancy, when emotional highs and lows are rampant, the woman wants to feel that she’s not going to term alone… There’s physical presence and emotional presence."
She also offered a suggestion if the couple's careers get in the way:
"If physical presence is impossible, like when Kanye is touring or performing at a distance, a couple can enjoy hot intimate moments on Skype or Face Time. And they can be texting quickie love notes at odd times of the day. No woman, pregnant or not, wants to feel abandoned. But particularly during pregnancy, where the bond is obvious, this is when she most needs her man’s support.”

WHAT MEN WANT!!


So You (Still) Think Men Are Dogs?

Dr. Gilda Carle
“30-Second Therapist”
Today Show

Many women claim that men are dogs who will bed anything that walks. But more guys today are pressing the “later” button for intimacy. The fact is, sex has becomes so abundant, men are claiming the proverbial “headache” to stave off all the demands.  

In this week’s “30-Second Therapist,” I respond to two men, one a widower and one a divorcing soldier.  Ladies, a true love is not someone a guy wants to be with; it’s someone he doesn’t want to be without.  As Kelly Clarkson and Vince Gill sing, “Don’t Rush.”  My Gilda-Gram:  “If he’s yours, you can’t lose him; if he’s not, you don’t want him!” 


I had a great time discussing Relationship Wellness at Columbia University Medical Center with the medical and dental students, referenced in one of the column’s questions.  The students interacted, laughed, cried, and lined up after the presentation for me to address their personal issues.  Here’s a photo of the fun. 

LOVE (of course)!
Dr. Gilda



Thursday, March 14, 2013

COLUMBIA UNIVERSITY MEDICAL CENTER

As the Relationship Wellness Expert for Columbia University Medical Center, I had a magnificent time with the medical and dental students.  There was interaction, sharing, laughter, applause, tears, and a line-up to speak to me privately after my keynote speech.  I am so grateful for the opportunity to be able to disseminate my healthy relationship tenets to such a receptive audience, and especially, one that will influence many generations to come.




Friday, March 8, 2013

BIEBER'S BRAWLS


Justin Bieber’s Meltdowns Because Of His Split With Selena Gomez?


Justin has had a lot of negative things happen recently: his birthday meltdown, he fought with the paparazzi, he collapsed on stage, and he was photographed smoking what appeared to be marijuana. HollywoodLife.com spoke with experts who tell us if it’s because of his breakup with Selena!

Justin Bieber appears to be coming a bit unhinged and his recent behavior is a clear indication. HollywoodLife.com spoke with four top relationship experts and psychologists who tell us exactly why Justin could be spiraling out of control.

Is Justin Acting Out Because Of His Break Up With Selena?

We spoke with Dr. Gilda Carle who tells us that the breakup with Selena is definitely a cause for Justin’s recent outbursts. For instance, he has been running around without his shirt on, he got into a fight on Mar. 8 with photographers, and he almost fainted on stage on Mar. 7 — things are getting a bit out of hand!
But one thing to point out is that all of this is happening since he broke up with Selena. You never used to hear negative things about Justin when he was with Selena, at least not this often!
“When a couple is together, there is an interdependence on one another that results in each of them taking care of the other,” Dr. Gilda Carle, the 30-Second Therapist on the Today Show says. “While men in our culture don’t like to admit it, the value of having a deep and caring love calms them. Without Selena, it seems that Justin is spiraling out of control … he seems to be without direction and grounding.”

Curvy Ladies, Think Kate Upton!


Can a “Curvy” Woman Find Love? 

Dr. Gilda Carle

"30-Second Therapist"
Today Show Website

While men sweat their performance, women are anxious about their body image.  I work with women and teen girls suffering from body dysmorphic disorder, thinking they can never become thin enough.  Their low self-image cripples all their potential.

In this week’s “30-Second Therapist,” a “curvy” woman wonders if she’ll ever find love.   And a woman who cheated on her husband is steamed when she discovers that he cheated on her!  My response explains what’s behind that . . .


Isn’t LIFE an adventure?

Please keep your wonderful questions coming!
Love,
Dr. Gilda

Friday, March 1, 2013

"LEAVING" IS NOT EXPRESSING!


YOUR PERSONAL NEEDS COUNT

By

Dr. Gilda Carle
30-Second Therapist
Today.com

One woman is considering leaving her BF because of his 11-year-old daughter, and another is berating herself for expressing how she feels.  Relationships and people go nowhere unless they exchange feelings.  And “leaving” is not expressing!  What do you think?


Decide what you want!  Then heed my Gilda-Gram™: “Communication is the best lubrication” –as you enjoy the payoffs ;) 

Recent Press:



Have a great week.
Love, of course,
Dr. Gilda