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Friday, December 27, 2013

"I WAS DUMPED OVER EMAIL, BUT NOW I MISS MY EX"

In love, it seems the question is always this:  When someone doesn't want you any more, should you continue to pursue that person?  I've worked with abused kids taken out of their homes by the authorities.  Yet they still wanted to return home to their parents.  Similarly, I've worked with abused or belittled mates, whose relationship may have derailed, but who still want to return to their put-down partner.  What do you think of how I set this guy straight in this week's Dr. Gilda "30-Second Therapist"?

Then there's a woman who misinterprets the congenial professionalism of her doggie's vet as sexual come-ons.  COME ON!!!  What do you think of how I responded to her?

http://www.today.com/health/i-was-dumped-over-email-now-i-miss-my-ex-2D11810727

I love your responses.  Please keep them coming.  And above all else, HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Love,
Dr. Gilda

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

WHEN YOU LOVE SOMEONE, SHOULD OTHERS INTERFERE?

In the Dr. Gilda "30-Second Therapist" this week, here's a problem that seems to be universal:

One man loves his girlfriend—but each time she speaks to her parents, she turns on him.  Another guy lives with his girlfriend, but she refuses to get rid of memories from her marriage.  What is wrong with these pictures?


Both these questions are similar.  When you choose a partner, how many people must enter into that equation?  Of course, everyone has families and friends.  But HOW MUCH influence should outsiders have on your inside relationship?


Holiday season has kept us all so busy.  Remember to take care of yourself while you’re running around!!  You only have one of you, so cherish it!  HAPPY EVERYTHING!!

Love,
Dr. Gilda


Monday, December 9, 2013

SECRETS OF MALE PSYCHOLOGY!



DO YOU UNDERSTAND MALE PSYCHOLOGY?

Since Country Cures(r) launched, I've been meeting with lots of people regarding the new company, doing tons of interviews, and attending lots of Christmas parties.
 
This weekend, I appeared on legendary 770 AM WABC Radio on "The Saturday Café with Laura Smith," discussing how to navigate your relationships with country music-especially using Country Cures(R) technology!  
 
If you haven't yet seen the new website, it's http://www.CountryCures.org.  Especially see the two Country Cures(R) videos for anti-bullying and unemployment woes. 
 
****
In my Today Show column this week, one woman wonders about her guy who moved toward togetherness like a tortoise before finally expressing his love.  But suddenly, he darted like a cheetah into his cave!  What do these startling bipolar behaviors of many men mean?
 
Another woman left her marriage after 15 years of being her husband's shadow.  She's interested in someone new, but she never cleared out the stuff that contributed to her shadow dancing. 
 
Here's my take on these two.  WHAT'S YOURS? 
 
http://www.today.com/health/my-boyfriend-said-he-loved-me-then-dumped-me-can-2D11702476
 
Is male psychology that difficult to dissect?
Let me hear your thoughts!


Love,
Dr. Gilda
DrGilda@DrGilda.com
****
What's a woman to do when one Prince Charming after another turns out to be a frog? Most women mistakenly chase after the fairy tale, and in their desire to be swept away, they fail to cultivate their own gifts.To succeed in love, women must sharpen their personal power, project it, and attract partners who respect it and reflect it. How a woman treats herself sends the message about how she expects others to treat her. Using real examples, revealing Self-Assessments, her memorable GILDA-GRAMS, and plenty of humor, DR. GILDA demonstrates how to hook, hug, and hold a worthy mate.
Don't Bet On The Prince
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Friday, November 22, 2013

CAN CHEATING BE A LOVE REMEDY??

CAN A MARRIAGE BE SAVED WITH EXTRAMARITAL SEX? 
CAN A CHEATER RENEW HIS CRUMBLING MARRIAGE? 

Dr. Gilda’s “30-Second Therapist” column for this week.

This week, one reader says she can't stand physical contact with her husband and she's resorted to cheating on him, while another reader just learned her husband cheated on her. Relationship expert Dr. Gilda Carle cuts through the fluff with her love advice in TODAY.com's "30-second therapist" series. 

Q: I have been married for seven years. I hate having sex with my husband and I don't know what to do. He is a calm and kind man, and everyone likes him, but the reality is that I cannot tolerate him touching me. I’ve recently tried to love someone else because I need sex. Do you think I have to end this marriage, or is there any other way for me to rebuild it? —Sexless Siren

Dear Sexless Siren,
As the body’s largest organ, the skin craves touch. You “hate having sex with” your husband, and you “cannot tolerate him touching” you. Yet, getting stokes and strokes from someone you’re “trying” to “love” is all right? Get real!! You apparently fear the closeness of a consistent partner, but to answer your skin hunger, you’re confusing sex and touch with love.   

You ask if there’s any other way to rebuild the marriage. Lady, you can’t reconstruct your relationship while romping in another’s bed! Heed this Gilda-Gram™: “Building love requires emotional presence.” Unless you’re prepared to fully commit to your “calm and kind” man, do him the favor of bowing out!

Before you have a recurrence of rationalizing ill-founded “love” to warm you, master the concept of relationship give and take. —Dr. Gilda

Q: My husband of two years recently cheated on me. He told me the day after it happened. He said he would work hard to earn my trust back and he thought the other woman was what he wanted, but now he knows he was wrong. I'm hurt and angry, and so lost. I want to work things out, but how do I forgive him? How do we get past this? —Hurt & Angry

Dear Hurt & Angry,
The question before “how do I forgive?” should be “what’s going on?” 
Your will to “work things out” is key. Don’t fret about how to “get past this” right now; trust is proven in behavior, and that will take time. 

Like most women, do you imagine you’re the relationship police? If so, in addition to being angry with your husband, are you angry with yourself for not detecting marital shortfalls? Examine the marriage you had, exchange your feelings and fears, and watch your vulnerability become the glue to your bonding.

Max Lucado’s inspiring new film, “The Christmas Candle,” shows how seemingly impossible miracles manifest—when people want them to. Girl, you’ve both already nailed that part! Let a therapist help guide you toward renewal. —Dr. Gilda   

Want Dr. Gilda to answer your relationship questions? Send them in!

Dr. Gilda Carle is the relationship expert to the stars. She is a professor emerita, has written 15 books, and her latest is “Don’t Bet on the Prince!”—Second Edition. She provides advice and coaching via Skype, email and phone.

Monday, November 18, 2013

CAN YOU "LOVE" SOMEONE YOU BARELY KNOW??


In my last newsletter, when I asked whether to continue these emails every week, I got a resounding YES.  So here’s this week’s “30-Second Therapist”—and more.

***

How can you say you love someone you don’t really know?  Or whose home you’ve never been to after 8 months? I got on one woman’s case because, not only does she not really know her dude, she has already introduced him to her young son!!  How unsafe is that?

Another couple is having problems after being married for only 6 weeks.  I urge them to straighten out the kinks before any more time elapses.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?


***

This weekend, I was part of a Day of Healing for charity.  It was a wonderful high, to counsel so many new clients and to make new friends.






Make all your days HEALING DAYS!
Love,
Dr. Gilda Carle

Friday, November 8, 2013

INTRODUCING: COUNTRY CURES



On the heels of last night’s Country Music Awards comes a concept taking this wildly popular musical genre to another level—as a tool to heal, grow, and thrive.  

New educational non-profit, Country Cures®, combines country music + motivational messages by applying Guitar Strings to Heart Strings. 

At www.CountryCures.org, see this unique technique with just two of the groups the company services: bullied kids and disenfranchised unemployed (especially veterans). 

Country Cures® is doing this work because current anti-bullying programs are actually making kids more violent, and veterans’ suicides are increasing, already up to 22 per day!  Country Cures® combats America’s crisis of hopelessness with skills in self-esteem, conflict management, communication & relationships, and diversity sensitivity—all based on a medical model used in hospitals.

How can we serve you? 

Dr. Gilda Carle
President
Country Cures®, Inc.

979-GROWTH6

Dr. Gilda Carle at www.CountryCures.org is the president of Country Cures®, Inc. The company is an educational non-profit, 501(c)(3) that applies Guitar Strings to Heart Strings. It combines country music + motivational messages for people to heal, grow, and thrive.  How can we serve you?

Friday, November 1, 2013

HIS WIFE WANTS SWINGERS PARTIES, BUT HE DOESN'T!

What a role reversal this is!  In this week's "30-Second Therapist," a man finally decides he must do something about his awful marriage.  Typically, their arguments have been going on for as long as they've been together.  But it's a real role reversal--because HE's the one who rejects threesomes and swinging, and SHE's the one who wants them!!  (For most couples, it's the guy who would like this stuff!!)

How do you like my advice?

http://www.today.com/health/help-my-wife-wants-go-swinger-parties-8C11511693

Dr. Gilda
www.DrGilda.com

Friday, October 25, 2013

"50 Ways to Leave Your Lover"


I JUST GOT OFF SET, TAPING SEASON 2 OF "50 WAYS TO LEAVE YOUR LOVER." It will air around Valentine's Day.  The host is Wendy Williams.



And this is my beloved Executive Producer, Carl Schick.



Tuesday, October 22, 2013

DOES PASSION HAVE TO THAW??


Does Passion Have to Thaw?

Dr. Gilda’s “30-Second Therapist” --Today Show/Health

When I first starting researching Helen Fisher’s work, her findings told us passion lasts from 18 months to 3 years. But recently, I interviewed her for an article I was writing, and she said her latest findings prove that passion can last forever—with the right partner, that is!  So why do so many people experience thaws?

After a period of time, couples take each other for granted and become sloppy.  In this first question, from a woman whose marriage is circling the drain, I offer one solution as a start.  Have you tried it?


Last week’s “30-Second Therapist” dealt with someone who fell in love with love.  Too many people want love so badly, they settled.  I raised some pressing questions about this person’s future.


******
The other night, I attended a fascinating lecture from a Ph.D. scientist about flame retardant materials in our furniture and consumer products, and their toxic damage to our bodies.  I now want to discard my sofas!!!  I have literature from her that I can send you, if you request it.  Caution: You won’t like what you read!

For this upcoming week, let’s think about sunny days!
Love,
Dr. Gilda

Saturday, September 21, 2013

ISSUES & UPDATES

Boyfriend gets late night calls from lady who's "just a friend." Do you buy it??  In this week's "30-Second Therapist," I divulge the truth to his naïve girlfriend!



Then there's a married woman who claims she's been abused by hubby for 18 years.  She's got 2 kids, yet she remains and complains.  I give her this Gilda-Gram:



If she were as "fed up" as she says she is, she'd run . . .


XXX

My last several weeks have been exciting.  I went to a birthday party for the Cowboy from the Village People, Randy Jones.  Would you believe he just turned 61??  “Y-M-C-A . . ., it’s fun to be at the Y-M-C-A!” I also attended a celebration of 359 years of NYC Jewish history, at the Department of Records & Information Services.  At this fascinating library, everyone can trace their ancestral roots, which my sister has graciously volunteered to do for our family!  I also visited the Museum of Sex for some eye-popping sexual education!!  (See my Facebook Fan Page photos.) In addition, I taped a TV segment on divorce for TBN. Then I joined the Christian Women in Media Association, where Jennifer O’Neill spoke.  What a life she’s had: 9 husbands, 3 almost-deaths, and she’s still gorgeous, successful, and standing!

I’m preparing to tape another Valentine’s Day special of “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover” for Investigation Discovery.  More on that as soon as I’m able to dish.  And there are other exciting things coming up that I’ll reveal as soon as contracts are signed.

Be well and happy!  You're the only one in charge of what happens to you next!!
Love,
Dr. Gilda