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Saturday, December 29, 2012

WOULD YOU PAY $250K TO FIND LOVE?

This is my latest article on the front pages of NBC News and the Today Show websites.

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/50313041/ns/today-relationships/t/love-some-men-are-willing-pay/#.UN9E6qVfO_4

The comments buzzing from this article are interesting.  Some folks are actually furious that a guy may have $250K to pay a matchmaker!  What's that about--besides jealousy?  
Love,
Dr. Gilda


Friday, December 28, 2012

DO YOU NEED TO HEAR "I LOVE YOU"? 30-Second Therapist


Hi, Everyone,
Does it matter if your honey is unaffectionate?  Is it reason to leave if you don’t hear loving words? What’s your take on this situation in this week's Today Show 30-Second Therapist column?


This week’s Gilda-Gram™ is “What you believe you deserve is what you receive.”  Many of you are downloading my Pinterest Gilda-Grams as positive motivational reminders.  I'm grateful to affect your success this way.

HAVE A GREAT NEW YEAR’S EVENT—and an even better 2013!!
Love,
Dr. Gilda

Friday, December 21, 2012

SECRETS IN MARRIAGE


Hi, Everyone,
Merry Christmas!  

This week’s burning 30-Second Therapist question is:  “If you’re married, and you have a secret ‘friend,’ are you cheating?” 

Keep your great comments coming!
Love,
Dr. Gilda

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

FINALLY!!  
 Enjoy my 42-second GOOD NEWS video:

video


Or, click onto the YouTube version from my channel:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PktaK4l8leQ

Love,
Dr. Gilda

Thursday, December 20, 2012

SO YOU WANNA "FIX" HIS SEXISM??


Ladies, if you're trying to "fix" a man's sexism, give up!  No one gets fixed unless he wants to.  And no man wants to--unless he feels the need.  

What a woman can do is acknowledge when she sees signs of sexism, call the guy's attention to it (because it might be unconscious), and say she doesn't want to listen to this banter. In other words, she can "fix" her own reaction.  When you throw a pebble in the ocean, there's a rippling effect.  Eliminating the payoff for a behavior can make it extinct. 

Here's a summary of the study: 

Delusions of gender: Men's insecurities may lead to sexist views of women
He loves her, he loves her not: Attachment style as a persoanlity antecedent to men's ambivalent sexism

He loves her, he loves her not.

A new study led by Joshua Hart, assistant professor of psychology, suggests that men's insecurities about relationships and conflicted views of women as romantic partners and rivals could lead some to adopt sexist attitudes about women.

The study was recently published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, a peer-reviewed journal.
Hart and his co-authors, Jacqueline Hung '11, a former student of Hart's, and psychology professors Peter Glick of Lawrence University and Rachel Dinero of Cazenovia College, surveyed more than 400 heterosexual men to gauge their responses to questions about their attachment style, hostile and benevolent sexism, and views on romance.

Attachment style refers to the way people relate to others in the context of intimate relationships, defined by two personality traits: attachment anxiety and attachment avoidance. Both traits reflect different kinds of relationship insecurities; people who are low in both traits are considered secure.

Hostile sexism depicts women as mean-spirited foes who aim to dominate men. Benevolent sexism regards them as objects of adoration and affection, but also fragile and needy of chivalrous treatment.

Previous research has found that some men view women as offering the possibility of romantic fulfillment, but also competing with them in areas such as the workplace, where both vie for similar resources.

Hart's study found that anxiously attached men tend to be ambivalent sexists—both hostile and benevolent—whereas avoidantly attached men typically endorse hostile sexism, while rejecting benevolent sexism.

"In other words, anxious men are likely to alternate between chivalry and hostility toward female partners, acting like a knight in shining armor when she fulfills his goals and ideals about women, but like an ogre when she doesn't," Hart explained this month to the Society of Personality and Social Psychology's web-based news site, Connections. "Avoidant men are likely to show only hostility without any princely protectiveness."

The survey results also showed that anxiously attached men tend to be romantics at heart who adopt benevolently sexist beliefs, while avoidantly attached men lean toward social dominance. That, in turn, leads them to embrace hostile sexism.

The findings highlight how personality traits could predispose men to be sexists, according to Hart. This information could help couples build stronger relationships, particularly during therapy.

Sunday, December 16, 2012

IS GUN CONTROL THE ANSWER?

I cry when I see those photos of the babies shot down by a madman.  People are screaming 

for gun control.  But how can we legislate against crazy behavior?  I say we return to 

teaching a 4th R of Respect and Relationships in the schools where children are taught to 

value LIFE...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whRObSmE904

Friday, December 14, 2012

GOD HELP OUR ANGER & VIOLENCE

Condolences to the innocent lost souls and their families in that Connecticut elementary school.  I've been doing media interviews all day regarding this.  God help our anger and violence as a way of life!  

DR. GILDA'S NEW AWARD

YAY!  For her new company, not yet unveiled, Dr. Gilda was chosen by a VC group to develop an APP to promote healthy relationships. YAY! YAY! YAY!

Thanx for all your support, everyone, especially Leslie Zeledon!!

Thursday, December 13, 2012

TAYLOR SWIFT'S NEW VIDEO


Taylor's new video is very different from the others she's produced.  Watch this!!

http://www.mtv.com/videos/taylor-swift/864179/i-knew-you-were-trouble.jhtml#id=1698833


I LOVE how Taylor uses music therapy to heal her relationships with her exes, in contrast to other celebs who turn to drugs, alcohol, and acting out.  This is a very dark song & video.  Who hasn't been there in love?  But it's prophetic that she admits she knew—as everyone does—that this guy would be trouble—but she pursued the relationship and the excitement and the intrigue anyway.

The message is eerily poetic:  you don't know who you are until you lose who you are!  My annotation is that the need to find yourself again is what causes you to grow.

Dr. Gilda Carle
www.DrGilda.com
Relationship Expert
"30-Second Therapist," Today Show Website

Sunday, December 9, 2012

NEW STORE OPEN @ www.DrGilda.com

Hi, Everyone,

My new store has just opened at www.DrGilda.com/

It has 50+ items for SELF and CAREER success. What do you think?

Love,
DrGilda.com
www.DrGilda.com

Saturday, December 8, 2012

Remaining...but Complaining --30-Second Therapist, Today Show


I CAN’T STAND MY BF, BUT I DON’T WANT TO LEAVE

BY

DR. GILDA CARLE (Ph.D.)
“30-Second Therapist”
Today Show Website

Huh?  Why do people stay when they should go? Why do they go when they should stay?  It’s all about FEAR!!  And fear has grave consequences: This week’s Gilda-Gram™ is “Sex is often the first casualty of incompatibility.”


What do you think? Thanx to you, my readers and fans, this “30-Second Therapist” hit the top front page of the Today Show website.  What a great early Christmas present!
Love,
Dr. Gilda



EARLY CHRISTMAS PRESENT

YAY!!  This week's "30-Second Therapist" is on the FRONT PAGE, at the TOP of the Today Show website:  http://today.msnbc.msn.com  "I Can't Stand My Boyfriend but I Don't Want to Leave."

Online real estate is the same as terrestrial real estate:  Location, location, location.

Friday, December 7, 2012

I CAN'T STAND MY BF, BUT I WON'T LEAVE


I CAN’T STAND MY BF, BUT I WON’T LEAVE

BY

DR. GILDA CARLE (Ph.D.)
“30-Second Therapist”
Today Show Website

Huh?  Why do people stay when they should run?  FEAR!  Why do people run when they should stay?  FEAR.  Both extremes are shown below. What is your take?


Keep your feedback rolling.  I’ve been answering many of your questions in this “30-Second Therapist” column!
Love,
Dr. Gilda



Tuesday, December 4, 2012

EXCITING NEW SHOW SOON!!



Dr. Gilda having dinner with Carl Schick, who discovered her for Investigation Discovery. Their new show will air on Valentine's Day, February 2013.  Stay tuned for more details coming soon ...