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Friday, June 29, 2012

Breaking the News to Suri



Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes Divorce: How They Should Break The News To Suri 





After Tom Cruise, 49, and Katie Holmes, 33, announced their divorce on June 29, all eyes are on Suri. What would have been the best way to tell their daughter?


Psychotherapist Dr. Gilda Carle, stressed the importance of showing her love and affection rather than spoiling her with material possessions.




“Don’t go buying her new toys and clothes and think money is going to be the answer to get to her heart, ” said Dr. Gilda, of drgilda.com. “That’s going to be a very hollow attempt. It’s not going to make her feel any better.”
Dr. Gilda, the 30-second therapist on Today.com, also said that Tom and Katie must not put Suri in the middle, and bad-mouthing each other is a major no-no. “They cannot make her the sounding board for their problems.”
Because Suri will continue to grow up in the public eye, it is important to make her emotional health a priority. “Her parents must make sure she has as natural a life as possible,” she said.




Suri Cruise


SURI'S TANTRUM




Suri Cruise’s Public Tantrum This Week — Because Of Divorce?





Suri Cruise Tantrum

Suri Cruise had a very public temper tantrum on June 25 — was her public meltdown because she knew her Mom and Dad were getting divorced?

Suri Cruise6, is often photographed having tantrums in public, but she had a major meltdown earlier this week – did she know about the divorce?
Psychotherapist Dr. Gilda Carle, the 30-second therapist on Today.com, spoke EXCLUSIVELY to HollywoodLife.com about whether Suri’s tantrum was a signal things were not right at home.
“Oh yes, when a child throws a temper-tantrum that is the signal that something is not in balance. She has had a pampered life. She always gets what she wants, when she wants it.”
“Now that her parents are splitting, she’s going to see a differnet life. I hope they seek counseling for her and for the family.”
Dr. Gilda added that her future tantrums will be a way of Suri trying to get her parents back together.
“When she’s crying or having an issue, she’s got to be able to express herself in a safe way. It has to be looked upon as a way of grabbing her parents attention so they will come back in unison.”
Throwing tantrums is a very typical way of dealing with stressful issues, added Dr. Gilda, of drgilda.com. ”Tom & Katie are both going to be united in trying to get her to stop. That could be seen as a way she could get them back together again.”
“Tom & Katie will be forced to talk about something, even if it is Suri’s bad behavior. Kids are very manipulative and they will pull anything to get parents to come back together again.”
She added that Suri’s emotional safety is a top priority.
What do YOU think, HollywoodLifers?

DR. GILDA: How WIll Suri Do?



Dr. Gilda:  Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes  

Divorce: How It Will Affect Suri

Katie Holmes & Tom Cruise Divorce

Temper tantrums, acting up in school — our expert tells us that Suri may face a host of issues now that she’s a child of divorce.

After Tom Cruise, 49, and Katie Holmes, 33, made headlines of their divorce how will the shocking news affect Suri Cruise‘s mental state?
Psychotherapist Dr. Gilda Carle, the 30-second therapist on Today.com, said “It’s not unlike a child to act up in school. To do things that that child would not [normally] do.”
Throwing a temper-tantrum would also be very typical for the 6-year old.
“When she’s crying or having an issue, she’s got to be able to express herself in a safe way,” said Dr. Gilda, of drgilda.com. “It has to be looked upon as a way of grabbing her parents attention so they will come back in unison.”
“Kids are very manipulative and they will pull anything to get parents to come back together again,” she concluded.
HollyMoms, are you worried for Suri?

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Should She Date Her Son's Friend??


CONTROVERSY!
 
Should She Date Her Son’s Friend??

By

Dr. Gilda Carle (Ph.D.)


What pushes us to pursue a love interest—our hormones or our hearts?  Where do we draw our boundaries? And who is truly off limits? 


You thought dating was a cinch, didn’t you?  I’m very, very anxious to hear your thoughts on this one!!

Love,
Dr. Gilda

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

AT 14, KIM WANTED SEX, KRIS SAID "YES"



Kris Jenner: Enabling Kim Kardashian To Have Sex At 14 Is Irresponsible Parenting



Kris Jenner Kim Kardashian Sex


Kris Jenner – have you never heard of the word, “no?” Teenagers are looking for boundaries, not your permission to have sex at 14, along with the gift of birth control.

Kris Jenner – were you trying to be your daughter Kim Kardashian‘s friend, instead of a responsible mother when you agreed that it was OK for a then 14-year-old Kim to have sex with her boyfriend?
Kim revealed in her recent interview with Oprah on the OWN network that she had told you, her mom, that “I want to” have sex with my boyfriend” when she was 14, and you replied, “OK, so this is what we’re gonna do, we’re gonna put you on birth control.”
Now Kris, I do applaud you for having an open enough relationship that your daughter would come to you to talk about her desire to have sex.
But that’s where my applauding ends. As a mother myself of a 15-year-old daughter, I am stunned that you wouldn’t have discouraged your teenager, Kim, from losing her virginity. Fourteen is far too young to be dealing with the intense emotions that having sex with a boyfriend, can arouse. And no, I’m not talking about sexual arousal. We all know about that. Teenage boys and girls are horny, but that doesn’t mean that they are ready to act on their sexual desires.
Teens are still very immature, especially teenage boys. And that means that 14-year-old girls can end up feeling used and abused after a sexual relationship. Their self-esteem can be completely shattered especially if the boy ends up abusing their trust and blabs about their sexual relationship, or even worse, takes and shares illicit photos and videos.
There are so many potential dangers – aside from the most obvious – a teen pregnancy – that saying “no” to Kim, would have been a much more responsible move for you as a mother.
And who’s to say that Kim later shooting a sex tape with her boyfriend Ray J, wasn’t the result of her becoming sexually active at such a young age. By 22, she may have needed the extra thrill of videotaping herself having sex, because normal private sex just wasn’t enough for her.
But bottom line is, Kris – you’re a parent. And parents aren’t supposed to be enabling their children to engage in risky behavior. Parents are supposed to show their love by setting boundaries and that includes saying no to activities that could hurt them.
You should have showed Kim you loved her by saying no to sex at 14.
“Ultimately teenagers want boundaries from their parents. Because boundaries to a teenager mean I love you . That’s how they interpret it,” points out psychotherapist, Dr. Gilda Carle of drgilda.com. ”No matter what kids say and how much a kid fights, they want their parents to put their foot down and say no.”
Furthermore, Dr. Gilda, the 30-Second Therapist on Today.com, explains that, when you Kris, said “yes, it’s OK to have sex” to Kim, you sent the message that Kim was ruling the house and that you, Kris, didn’t need to take charge.
That’s a bad message Kris. And you still have two teen daughters – Kendall, 16, and Kylie, 14, who now will think it’s their right to have teenage sex whenever they feel like it, with your approval.
After all, if it was OK by you for Kim, you can’t now say no to Kendall and Kylie. Are you really comfortable with that?
I sure wouldn’t be.
Kris, I hope you’ve learned from your mistakes and aren’t going to enable your younger daughters to have teen sex too. Otherwise, one of them could end up as a teen mom, and I doubt that you want to be doing THAT reality show!

IN LOVE? COME CLEAN!!

TEST QUESTION:  Are you willing to reveal your true self when the right one comes along?  If you're hiding important facts, you're headed to disaster...  Check it out! 


WHAT DO YOU THINK??
Love,
Dr. Gilda

Friday, June 15, 2012

"I'M STILL IN LOVE WITH MY EX"--30-Second Therapist


“I’m Still in Love with My Ex”

30-Second Therapist on Today.com

by

Dr. Gilda Carle

It’s pretty awful to be with one person while you’re longing for another.  Besides, it’s also CHEATING!  And that was my response below:


People “settle” because they’re afraid to be alone.  But if you don’t enjoy your alone time, you’ll never be able to commit to your together time.

What are your thoughts?  Please keep your emails coming.
Love,
Dr. Gilda



CATELYNN IS NOT PREGNANT--THANKFULLY!


‘Teen Mom’ Catelynn Lowell: Waiting To Have Kids Is A Great Decision, Dr. Gilda Says


Catelynn Lowell Pregnant Again
Dr. Gilda weighed in on rumors of ‘Teen Mom’ Catelynn Lowell being pregnant again and, based on her opinion, HollywoodLife.com is glad they’re not true!

Catelynn Lowell and her fiancé Tyler Baltierra put their daughter Carly up for adoption three years ago in order to focus on finishing their education and maintaining a stable relationship before raising children, so experts were stunned when rumors swirled of Catelynn being pregnant with her second child. Catelynn quickly denied the rumors and experts are happy to hear the teenage couple is waiting to have another child.

Catelynn and Tyler both seem committed to finishing their college degrees — something that experts say would be very difficult with a baby on board! Psychotherapist Gilda Carle says, “I have a lot of students in my college classes who had to leave school because of the demands of parenthood — and the innocent child must be the priority.”

Rumors of a second pregnancy came on the heels of the couple visiting the child they gave up for adoption, causing worry that their emotions are making the couple lose sight of how impractical having another baby might be.

Though the couple may not be ready to have another baby just yet, it seems they’re on the right path to eventually providing a comfortable and stable household.

What do you think, HollywoodLifers? Are YOU glad that Catelynn’s pregnancy rumor has proven false?

CHRIS BROWN GROWS UP!


Chris Brown, You’ve Matured — You Didn’t Fight Drake’s Entourage


Chris Brown Drake Bar Fight

Chris, you’ve made such big strides stopping your violent ways — now you just need to work on your misogynistic language and you will be a changed man!

Chris Brown, I am very proud of you for not resorting to violence last night in your entourage’s bar fight with Drake and his entourage. Most reports are claiming that his people initiated the fight, and your rep says you, Karrueche and your friends were the “victims of a brutal attack.” Dr. Gilda agrees  that your resistance against taking part in this altercation shows how much you have changed and matured.


Dr. Gilda Carle, the 30-second therapist for Today.com, says that your staying out of the fight shows “a phenomenal improvement,” She adds that you are “growing out” of your “instant anger problem.” She even says this is great for your career and romantic life! “When you grow in one area, you grow in all the other areas as well. He’s seeing the world differently, that he doesn’t have to be provoked by everyone who gives him a dirty look,” explains Dr. Gilda.



MILEY, ENJOY A LONG ENGAGEMENT!


Miley Cyrus & Liam Hemsworth: Don’t Rush Into Marriage

Miley Cyrus Engagement

Miley and Liam — We’re all really happy for you on your engagement, but since you’re both so young, why don’t you have a LONG engagement? It will make your love last!

Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth, marriage is a serious business, and if you’re planning to stay married for a lifetime, then it’s a very long business!

That’s why there’s no need to rush down the aisle. It’s lovely that you both feel ready to make the ultimate commitment to each other even though you’re only 19 and 22, respectively. But no matter how mature you are for your ages, you are STILL young and, unfortunately, the statistics on young marriages surviving are stacked against you.

That’s why I and other experts can honestly advise you to enjoy your love, enjoy your time together, enjoy your commitment and even enjoy living together — but DON’T tie the knot for at least a couple of years.

You both want to get to know each other inside and out, and through the difficult and challenging situations that will come your way.

Whether you realize it or not, you are still growing and maturing, becoming full adults.
It can be the very best and luckiest thing in the world to find the love of your life at an early age. Who wouldn’t want that to happen? Why should anyone have to spend years and years searching for “the one?”

Miley, you were only 16 when you first met Liam on the set of the movie The Last Song, that you starred in together. Liam, you were 19.

It’s wonderful to be able to grow up together and be best friends, as long as you keep growing in the same ways as you grow.

That may absolutely happen. It does for some couples. But statistics actually show that 60 percent of all couples who marry between 20 and 25 end up divorcing, compared to 50 percent of all other marriages ending in divorce, so you will have to put effort into your relationship to make sure you don’t end up as one of those statistics.

And you have to realize that with both of you being big Hollywood stars there will be unique pressure on your relationship. You will be torn apart for weeks — even months — by work commitments. You both will easily meet or be thrown together with other attractive and eligible people. You will have to be deeply committed to your own relationship to fend off the temptation of other exciting potential romances that will absolutely come your way.

You also have to be prepared to weather the ups and downs of your individual careers. There’s no question that, at times, one of you will have a hotter career than the other. Will you both be able to be equally supportive and sympathetic during those times, when one of you may be red-hot and the other may not?

In your Hollywood world, that may be your biggest challenge of all!

I can also tell you from experience — I’ve been married 29 years — that marriage, every marriage, is tough, no matter how much you love each other.

You will have ridiculous fights and misunderstandings. You will get annoyed by your other half. You will have moments where you will think you’d be better off without your mate. And that you made a mistake to commit yourself to the person who is driving you crazy, or being insensitive, or being selfish or is taking you for granted or who isn’t helping enough with the kids, etc.

But I can also tell you that if you marry the right person, you will get over all that — and most of the time, you’ll just feel so lucky and in love.

Nevertheless, if you don’t marry the right person, marriage can be total hell; and going through a divorce is a nightmare you do not want to have to experience. You already had a glimpse of the potential agony of divorce when Miley’s parents, Tish and Billy Ray, separated for a time.
In any case, would it hurt to wait before you walk down the aisle? Would it be so hard to have a long engagement?

Relationship expert Dr. Gilda Carle of DrGilda.com also worries that Miley and Liam could marry at too young an age.


“I think it’s wonderful to be young and in love, but it’s another thing to learn how to deal with crisis. I always recommend that people who are about to tie the knot, look at themselves and each other in crisis,” says the 30-second therapist for Today.com. “Love is great when everything is going well. But life does not go 100% perfectly.”

So true. Miley and Liam, you’ve both had very blessed lives so far. Lots of career and financial success. You are both beautiful, healthy and you have supportive families. But a marriage should be for life and you will face crisis and challenges as I’ve pointed out. And then there’s children.
So take your time and especially make sure that you have the same values, life goals and lots of the same interests, before you turn your engagement into marriage!

Friday, June 8, 2012

CAN YOU MAKE SOMEONE PROPOSE??


Can You MAKE Someone Propose??

30-Second Therapist on Today.com
from
Dr. Gilda

It’s always about the WIIFM?—What’s In It For Me?—on the part of your listener.  Relationship success demands good business practices:  Know your listener’s needs! 

This week, my 30-Second Therapist column on Today.com is from a woman who doesn’t have a clue about her guy’s needs, and the second question comes from a man who’s spacey about what he really wants.


WHAT DO YOU THINK??

Love,
Dr. Gilda


Tuesday, June 5, 2012

KRIS K. EXPLOITS HER SEXUALITY


Kris Jenner: You’re A Lousy Mom For Exploiting Your Own & Kendall & Kylie’s Sexuality On Video

Kardashian Hypnotize Video

Mothers are supposed to be role models for their daughters — especially their teen daughters. Dirty dancing and having your husband Bruce slap your butt in front of them in a Twitter video plus filming Kendall and Kylie’s shaking booties is sending them every wrong message!

Kris Jenner – you need to grow up. Grow up and face reality. You are not an irresponsible teen. At least you’re not supposed to be, when you’re a 56-year-old mother of six!


No, as a mom, you’re supposed to be a role model, not be flaunting your sexuality by having a video filmed and released to the public in which you bend right over and your husband Bruce Jenner slaps your butt repeatedly for the world to see.

That’s just one of the multitude of inappropriate highlights in a new Kardashian family dance, song and more video filmed to the incredibly raunchy song, “Hypnotize,” by the late Notorious B.I.G.
The song is apparently one of Kanye West‘s favorites – surprise, surprise – but neither that, nor the fact that Kris, you no doubtedly arranged for this video to be filmed – makes this in any way, normal family viewing.

Instead, Kris you use this video to dirty dance with Bruce, hiking up your gauzey caftan to show off your bare thighs. The camera zooms in on your butt as you bend forward and shake it. You repeatedly place yourself in the center of all the booty shaking and dancing festivities with all your daughters, except Khloe, as well as son Rob Kardashian and baby daddy-in-law Scott Disick.
But not content with showing off your own sexuality, you put your daughters, including minors Kendall, 16, and Kylie, 14, on full display.

The camera zooms in repeatedly and does close-ups on their shaking booties, their crotches and breasts, as they dance, run, get down on all fours and ride donkeys. Kris, they are 16 and 14! The last thing you should be doing is blatantly advertising their sexual appeal.

As their mother, you’re not just abdicating your position as a role model but also that of a protector. You should be covering them up, not videotaping them dancing to the words “tell them hos take they clothes off slowly and hit ‘em wit the force,” or this lovely phrase, “tits and bras, menage a tois, sex in expensive cars.” This is just wrong!

Your new video is even more explicit about exploring Kim and her infamous booty. It goes in for major closeups of her in full hump motion in the ocean in a bikini so tiny, it reveals her butt crack. Kim is also filmed singing seductively in ample cleavage-revealing bikinis.

So Kris, the question is: why is it more important for you to let the world know that you’re still young and sexy ,than to be a strong and inspiring role model to your young daughters? Teens NEED proper direction — desperately need proper adult direction!

“Kids don’t want you to be a friend, they want you to be a parent,” agrees psychotherapist Dr. Gilda Carle, 30 Second Therapist on Today.com. “And kids never want to see their parents demonstrating their sexuality in front of them – it’s just gross to them.”


Parents, especially mothers, are supposed to set standards for their children. “They base their behavior on their mothers’ behavior,” points out Dr. Gilda of dr.gilda.com 

So Kris what kind of standards are you setting for Kendall and Kylie? That it’s right and smart to flaunt their own sexuality? Also, how can Kendall and Kylie respect you, Kris, when they’re seeing you bend over and get your butt-slapped by their father?

And do you want them mimicking your language too?“ Where’s my music, motherf–ker?” you yell at the end of the video. Is that really the way you want our teenage daughters to talk? Honestly – it’s vile.

Kris – you have no need to be threatened by your daughters’ success and sexuality. You are an incredible businesswoman who should be incredibly proud of your success.

You have built enormous careers for all your children who are attractive and relatable but certainly NOT talented actors or singers or neurosurgeons. That is a huge accomplishment.

But what you should be teaching your daughters is to be smart and have business acumen – that would be fantastic for them, points out Dr. Gilda.

However, instead you’re encouraging Kendall and Kylie NOT to go to college and instead to simply build modeling careers.

Kris – modeling is fine as a sideline but it’s no replacement for a college education which opens up multiple career opportunities for your daughters. Talk about limiting their choices and also sending the message to them that their looks are all-important.

Come on Kris. You’ve built a financial and family empire already, there has to be much more that you can do to grow it without rubbing your butt or your teen daughter’s butts in everyone’s faces!


– Bonnie Fuller

Saturday, June 2, 2012

WILL HE LEAVE HER FOR ME? ----30-Second Therapist on Today.com


WILL HE LEAVE HER FOR ME??

Girl, get a life!!


Dumb, dumb, dumb!  I wrote “Don’t Bet on the Prince!” to save women (and men) from being taken in by some fairy story.  But people WANT to believe that “happily-ever-after” does exist, and perhaps even a suitor from their past will provide it.  Will dreamers never wake up???

See my 30-Second Therapist column on Today.com:  “Will He Leave His Girlfriend for Me?”


What are your thoughts on this??
Love,
Dr. Gilda