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Thursday, May 31, 2012

MILEY CYRUS: STILL CUTTING?



Miley Cyrus Still Cutting? Experts Believe So




Miley Cyrus Cutting Herself 2012


We had hoped Miley had gotten help, but recent photos show new cut marks on her wrists. Two experts with whom we consulted agree that Miley may be cutting again. Oh no!

When photos of Miley Cyrus with cut marks on her wristsII first surfaced a few months ago, various experts speculated that the Hannah Montana star had been self-harming. We had hoped that Miley had undergone treatment, but it seems the 19-year-old Disney darling is back to her self-destructive ways.
In new photos from May 17, Miley has a series of lacerations on the inside of her wrist, which experts believe are fresh cut marks. Like other psychological disorders, self-harming requires professional treatment, sometimes even rehab. “Miley could meet with a therapist regularly, but i’m not sure she thinks she has a problem,” says Dr. Gilda Carle, 30 Second Therapist for Today.com.
Even if Miley doesn’t believe she needs treatment, she is acutely aware of her self-destructive behavior and doesn’t try to hide her scars from photographers or her many social media followers. “Scars remind us of where we’ve been. not where we’re going,” Miley tweeted on April 26.
“If she can remember how miserable she was to have generated the scars, maybe she can use them as a learning experience for which she’s deciding to grow,” explains Dr. Gilda.

Monday, May 28, 2012

SINGLE PARENT DATING


Single Parent Dating

By

Dr. Gilda Carle (Ph.D.)




Navigating single life today can be tough stuff.  But navigating single life with teenage kids can even be tougher.  Here’s the story of a father who made many mistakes.  There is a science to dating inconspicuously, so that you don’t intimidate your kids.  Check out this man’s story--and my advice to him:


As always, I welcome your comments.
Love,
Dr. Gilda
                      

Sunday, May 27, 2012

Spying On Your Honey?


“I’ve Been Spying Online on My Honey!”

by
Dr. Gilda Carle (Ph.D.)


What is it with people who are in such a hurry to seal a love deal?  Do they fear that the recipient of their affections might withdraw their offer if they don’t cement it?  I find that those who push hard right out of the gate are the first to leave the race.  Having been there myself, I will never again be rushed into a love commitment or a business transaction.  Like flowing water, everything has its time and place. 


So how would you advise this woman who wrote to me at Match.com, and was just published on Yahoo?  http://yahoo.match.com/y/article.aspx?articleid=7122


The lady’s in a hurry, and her honey is not.  So she’s taken to spying on him online.  OUCH!!  I’m anxious to hear your comments about my advice.
Love,
Dr. Gilda



Friday, May 25, 2012

Today.com's "30-Second Therapist": Lying On a Profile?


Happy Memorial Day, Everyone!

I received two juicy questions this week on Today.com’s “30-Second Therapist.”  A woman wants to know if the chemistry she feels for a guy should overrule her gut that’s screaming “NO!”  And a man is dismayed that a woman he’s dating has lied about her age on her profile (like that’s a newsflash??)


As always, you may be surprised by my responses.  Let me know—after you’re sick of partying this weekend!
Love,
Dr. Gilda

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

GROWING UP TO DISTRUST WOMEN



Dr. Gilda Says:  Jenelle Evans’ Son Jace May Grow Up To Distrust Women 




Jenelle Evans Son

Jenelle’s engagement to on-&-off beau Gary had us wondering what that would mean to her young son. Our expert says Gary better stick around, or else Jace might act out and grow up distrusting women.

Newly engaged Jenelle Evans might say she’s the “luckiest girl in the world” to have Gary Head in her life, but what about her other man, little Jace? Dr. Gilda Carle, who does not treat the family, spoke to HollyBaby.com exclusively about what it could mean now that Jace has a new parent in his life.


Jenelle, 20, has had one of the most dramatic stories on Teen Mom 2. With all eyes watching her every move (i.e. breast implants), it’s important for 2-year-old son to know that he’s still the center of it all now, especially now that the mom is also focused on being engaged.

“A child like this very usually feels as though he’s been neglected by mommy,” said Dr. Carle the 30-second therapist for Today.com. ”When mommy is not there for him when he needs mommy, he comes to grow up thinking women aren’t to be trusted.”


Dr. Carle said based Gary and Jenelle’s on-and-off history, stability and consistency is extremely necessary for the child to grow up healthy: “If the child is used to Gary being in his life and he’s off again when he should be on again, then major disappointment is set up.”

As far as what effects it might have on the 2-year-old, the therapist warned that the tot might not get along with other children in school, he might act out at home, or get into trouble. He may also have a tendency to demand more attention if he feels neglected.

The doctor’s best advice? She hopes Gary will stick around: “I hope that he gets a dose of maturity so that each time he has an argument he doesn’t flee.”


And for mom? “No matter what happens, mom has got to be a strong force in her son’s life,” she concluded. “The son has to know that he comes first no matter what.”

We wish the best of luck for the new family!

KHLOE'S DNA TEST??


Kris Jenner:  Shoving A DNA Test Down Khloe's Throat Is Emotionally Abusive

by Bonnie Fuller
Khloe Kardashian DNA Test

Kris Jenner, you relentlessly pursued Khloe and turned her siblings against her on the premiere of KUWTK, in order to force her to get a DNA test. How could you destroy mother/daughter trust like that for a tv show?

Kris Jenner – it was clear that you are have been selfishly putting the need to clear your own guilty conscience about your long ago affair ahead of Khloe‘s need for privacy, on the premiere episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, last night, May 20.


There was nothing positive for Khloe about having you repeatedly sow the seeds of insecurity in her on national TV. You were actually bullying her into taking an unwanted DNA test and it was shocking to watch- especially for all the mothers in your audience.

It was as shameless Kardashian behavior, as filing for divorce after 72 days without the groom being told beforehand. But the betrayal was far worse because you as a mother, were breaching the trust and privacy of your own child.Your daughter should be able to count on you protecting her to the nth degree, not selling her out for ratings. “Khloe needs to depend on her mother for unbiased advice and to act in her best interest,” agrees psychotherapist Dr. Gilda Carle, 30 Second Therapist on Today.com.


Instead Kris – it was downright cruel of you to actually hire a doctor – Dr. John Taddie – who is a DNA expert, and invite him over to your home to first get DNA swabs of your other kids after convincing them to do it. This of course was done behind Khloe’s back. Even teens Kendall and Kylie had the sense to object. “I think my mother is going a little crazy over this and she shouldn’t if she knows the truth, points out sensible Kylie.

But Kris – you manipulated your children into agreeing to take DNA tests, and let’s make no bones about this – it was manipulation. You convinced them that Khloe “is tortured because she doesn’t really know in her mind who her real dad is,” and then added, “that’s no way to go through life, not knowing who your dad is.”

But there was not one shred of evidence Kris, that Khloe was in fact tortured. She repeatedly said that she didn’t need to get a DNA test – “my dad is my dad and my stepdad is my stepdad” and I’m 100 per cent fine with that.

Kris, then you had the nerve to actually ambush Khloe with Dr. DNA Test, when she came over to your house. Khloe was understandably upset and exasperated. “Leave me alone,” she insisted. “Seriously, my dad is Robert Kardashian and my other dad is Bruce Jenner and if you were f***ing other people at the same time, go on the Maury show!”
Good for you Khloe!

Kris, clearly it is YOU who are guilty over your behavior twenty-six years ago when you cheated on your then-husband Robert Kardashian. And while you refuse to take responsibility for talking about your affair in your book, Kris Jenner and All Things Kardashian, the public issue of Khloe’s parentage would NEVER be an issue if you hadn’t written about it. You keep innocently pointing the finger at Robert Kardashians’ two other wives – who married him after you. Yes, they accused you of getting pregnant with another man’s child – that would be Khloe. But honestly would they ever have spoken up if you hadn’t opened that door with that book? They kept quiet for all these years after all.

Now Khloe has to literally push Dr. DNA out of her way and fend off Kim who threatens her: “The only way I’ll get off your case is if you do it (take the DNA test)!”
No, Kris – it’s YOU who are torturing Khloe.

And it turns out, that it’s entirely to ease your own guilt. Kim finally confronts you after you complain that you are so “stressed out” over the DNA test that you can’t sleep (like we’d feel sorry for YOU!)
“My mom wants her reputation cleared,” Kim points out, and you admit that’s true. You are determined that the world knows that you were faithful to your husband when Khloe was conceived – no matter how incredibly harmful and truly stressful this all is to Khloe.” If this is Kris’s guilt, then she needs to deal with it and work it out on her own, ” agrees Dr. Gilda Carle.” What Kris is doing is emotionally abusive. I wonder how much of this is parental caring and how much is television grandstanding.”


Thank heavens Khloe has enough self confidence to withstand your relentless hounding which is full-on emotional abuse. She smartly stands firm in her DNA test refusal and says something far more mature than you ever utter in the episode: “I have had the blessing of having two phenomenal fathers and I don’t need a DNA test to prove it!”

Right on Khloe – and Kris, you and your DNA test, can take a hike!
Bonnie Fuller

Friday, May 18, 2012

NEW 30-SECOND THERAPIST ON TODAY.COM


Happy Friday, Everyone!

Here are my new “30-Second Therapist” answers on Today.com:


“Why hasn’t he (or she) called?” is a common cry in the dating jungle. (I’ve been there myself!)  Here’s the only healthy way to go.

The second question I received this week concerns what to do after you’re “out” but still not “about.” My advice extends far beyond being gay.

Do you agree with my responses?  I love hearing your thoughts!
Dr. Gilda

Friday, May 11, 2012

DO "NICE" LOVERS FINISH LAST??


IN LOVE, HOW NICE IS TOO NICE?

Today, a woman asked me whether she’d been too nice to her boyfriend of 2 years; he just dumped her: “I treated his kids well, I catered to him, AND he left me.  I don't understand. I thought men like to be treated well.”

How coincidental that this edition of Today.com’s “30-Second Therapist” is titled, “Why Don’t Women Like Nice Guys?”  Yes, this time, a MAN asks the same question.

My take on niceness may seem unusual . . . because it questions not the taker, but the giver.  WHAT’S YOUR TAKE??


Love,
Dr. Gilda

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

THE DRAW OF SOCIAL MEDIA

In today's WSJ, there is a study about an article that specifically applies to our use and enchantment over social media.  It's called, "Science Reveals Why We Brag So Much."  What is the major draw of FB, Twitters, YouTube, and more?  


Apparently, the kind of self-disclosure used in social media increases activity in brain regions belonging to the meso-limbic dopamine system, associated with reward and satisfaction.  These regions are what stimulate our positive reactions to food, money, and sex.  


INTERESTING ARTICLE--AND CERTAINLY FOOD FOR THOUGHT!  http://ow.ly/aLTEz

Sunday, May 6, 2012

ALWAYS KNOW YOUR POWER!

What a wonderful Sunday.  This morning at the gym, I took a wild spin class, then a Body Pump class. I sat in the sauna after. My body feels stretched and firm!  And my vitality is strong.


Backstory:  It's been a rough two years for me, with too many very, very close friends very, very seriously ill.  I succumbed to the stress of worry, and I felt as though I was falling apart myself.  After a lot of decompression, and a lot of self-assessment, prayer, and meditation, I have been slowly waking with a new attitude and determination.  It also helped that I caught the Gail Deevers story on TV, where an Olympic winner had to overcome self-doubt and the potential perils of Graves Disease.  How she made it brought tears to my eyes!  


My friends need me to be strong for them, not some mush that goes to pieces.  I have my power back--and nothing will stop me now.  I wish I had been smarter sooner, but this was the universe's plan:  to go through this painful journey so I could emerge on the other side that much more enlightened.  I'm far stronger now for my clients, students, and fans for having taken this trip with all its potholes.  Thank you, all, for your support!   

Friday, May 4, 2012

Today.com's "30-Second Therapist": Turning Lovers On--and Off!


Happy Friday to you!
This edition of Today.com’s “30-Second Therapist” concerns someone who sabotages all her relationships, and another who wishes she could sabotage her husband!  Who is happy with their personal landscape?


I’m about to go on air with Geraldo, discussing that Tanorexic Mother.  Now that’s someone miserable with her landscape!

I love your comments.  Please keep them coming!
All my best,
Dr. Gilda

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Rihanna Still Trying to Snag Chris


Rihanna: Partying With Strippers Makes You Look Desperate To Get Chris Brown Back


Rihanna Partying With Strippers

Rihanna – get a grip! Tweeting photos of yourself oogling strippers and giving them money, is NOT sexy, it’s raunchy. And NOT in a good way.

Rihanna – you are a beautiful girl. A big, talented star. You do NOT need to spend your nights getting raunchy in strip clubs and then tweeting the photos.



Are you seriously thinking that this will turn Chris Brown on or make him jealous? You, he and his new girlfriend Karreuche Tran have appeared to be in a nasty public Twitter war for the past month. 


And in the past few days your tweets have been racier and racier.
But come on Rihanna! You need to have some respect for yourself! You were just named one of The Most Influential People in the World by Time magazine, start acting like a classy, empowered influencer.


If Chris Brown, who physically abused you, doesn’t love you back right now, that’s HIS loss! Why you even want him, I don’t know, but you can’t degrade yourself for him or any other man. Dr. Gilda
agrees with me – 


“Rihanna is misconstruing that being bad will translate into being loved,” says Dr. Gilda Carle, Today.com’s 30-second therapist. “Obviously her fame and money is not enough for her. So what is it that she’s lacking? A long-term love who treats her well. She’s mistakenly thinking that being raunchy will bring her love. Oops! She got that wrong! All she’ll attract this way is another bad boy who may mistreat her again. In the end, good guys settle down with good girls they respect. Will someone please shake RiRi so she’ll learn this?”


So true. Rihanna, please get yourself into some therapy. You need to learn to love yourself. 

Bonnie Fuller