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Saturday, December 29, 2012

WOULD YOU PAY $250K TO FIND LOVE?

This is my latest article on the front pages of NBC News and the Today Show websites.

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/50313041/ns/today-relationships/t/love-some-men-are-willing-pay/#.UN9E6qVfO_4

The comments buzzing from this article are interesting.  Some folks are actually furious that a guy may have $250K to pay a matchmaker!  What's that about--besides jealousy?  
Love,
Dr. Gilda


Friday, December 28, 2012

DO YOU NEED TO HEAR "I LOVE YOU"? 30-Second Therapist


Hi, Everyone,
Does it matter if your honey is unaffectionate?  Is it reason to leave if you don’t hear loving words? What’s your take on this situation in this week's Today Show 30-Second Therapist column?


This week’s Gilda-Gram™ is “What you believe you deserve is what you receive.”  Many of you are downloading my Pinterest Gilda-Grams as positive motivational reminders.  I'm grateful to affect your success this way.

HAVE A GREAT NEW YEAR’S EVENT—and an even better 2013!!
Love,
Dr. Gilda

Friday, December 21, 2012

SECRETS IN MARRIAGE


Hi, Everyone,
Merry Christmas!  

This week’s burning 30-Second Therapist question is:  “If you’re married, and you have a secret ‘friend,’ are you cheating?” 

Keep your great comments coming!
Love,
Dr. Gilda

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

FINALLY!!  
 Enjoy my 42-second GOOD NEWS video:

video


Or, click onto the YouTube version from my channel:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PktaK4l8leQ

Love,
Dr. Gilda

Thursday, December 20, 2012

SO YOU WANNA "FIX" HIS SEXISM??


Ladies, if you're trying to "fix" a man's sexism, give up!  No one gets fixed unless he wants to.  And no man wants to--unless he feels the need.  

What a woman can do is acknowledge when she sees signs of sexism, call the guy's attention to it (because it might be unconscious), and say she doesn't want to listen to this banter. In other words, she can "fix" her own reaction.  When you throw a pebble in the ocean, there's a rippling effect.  Eliminating the payoff for a behavior can make it extinct. 

Here's a summary of the study: 

Delusions of gender: Men's insecurities may lead to sexist views of women
He loves her, he loves her not: Attachment style as a persoanlity antecedent to men's ambivalent sexism

He loves her, he loves her not.

A new study led by Joshua Hart, assistant professor of psychology, suggests that men's insecurities about relationships and conflicted views of women as romantic partners and rivals could lead some to adopt sexist attitudes about women.

The study was recently published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, a peer-reviewed journal.
Hart and his co-authors, Jacqueline Hung '11, a former student of Hart's, and psychology professors Peter Glick of Lawrence University and Rachel Dinero of Cazenovia College, surveyed more than 400 heterosexual men to gauge their responses to questions about their attachment style, hostile and benevolent sexism, and views on romance.

Attachment style refers to the way people relate to others in the context of intimate relationships, defined by two personality traits: attachment anxiety and attachment avoidance. Both traits reflect different kinds of relationship insecurities; people who are low in both traits are considered secure.

Hostile sexism depicts women as mean-spirited foes who aim to dominate men. Benevolent sexism regards them as objects of adoration and affection, but also fragile and needy of chivalrous treatment.

Previous research has found that some men view women as offering the possibility of romantic fulfillment, but also competing with them in areas such as the workplace, where both vie for similar resources.

Hart's study found that anxiously attached men tend to be ambivalent sexists—both hostile and benevolent—whereas avoidantly attached men typically endorse hostile sexism, while rejecting benevolent sexism.

"In other words, anxious men are likely to alternate between chivalry and hostility toward female partners, acting like a knight in shining armor when she fulfills his goals and ideals about women, but like an ogre when she doesn't," Hart explained this month to the Society of Personality and Social Psychology's web-based news site, Connections. "Avoidant men are likely to show only hostility without any princely protectiveness."

The survey results also showed that anxiously attached men tend to be romantics at heart who adopt benevolently sexist beliefs, while avoidantly attached men lean toward social dominance. That, in turn, leads them to embrace hostile sexism.

The findings highlight how personality traits could predispose men to be sexists, according to Hart. This information could help couples build stronger relationships, particularly during therapy.

Sunday, December 16, 2012

IS GUN CONTROL THE ANSWER?

I cry when I see those photos of the babies shot down by a madman.  People are screaming 

for gun control.  But how can we legislate against crazy behavior?  I say we return to 

teaching a 4th R of Respect and Relationships in the schools where children are taught to 

value LIFE...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whRObSmE904

Friday, December 14, 2012

GOD HELP OUR ANGER & VIOLENCE

Condolences to the innocent lost souls and their families in that Connecticut elementary school.  I've been doing media interviews all day regarding this.  God help our anger and violence as a way of life!  

DR. GILDA'S NEW AWARD

YAY!  For her new company, not yet unveiled, Dr. Gilda was chosen by a VC group to develop an APP to promote healthy relationships. YAY! YAY! YAY!

Thanx for all your support, everyone, especially Leslie Zeledon!!

Thursday, December 13, 2012

TAYLOR SWIFT'S NEW VIDEO


Taylor's new video is very different from the others she's produced.  Watch this!!

http://www.mtv.com/videos/taylor-swift/864179/i-knew-you-were-trouble.jhtml#id=1698833


I LOVE how Taylor uses music therapy to heal her relationships with her exes, in contrast to other celebs who turn to drugs, alcohol, and acting out.  This is a very dark song & video.  Who hasn't been there in love?  But it's prophetic that she admits she knew—as everyone does—that this guy would be trouble—but she pursued the relationship and the excitement and the intrigue anyway.

The message is eerily poetic:  you don't know who you are until you lose who you are!  My annotation is that the need to find yourself again is what causes you to grow.

Dr. Gilda Carle
www.DrGilda.com
Relationship Expert
"30-Second Therapist," Today Show Website

Sunday, December 9, 2012

NEW STORE OPEN @ www.DrGilda.com

Hi, Everyone,

My new store has just opened at www.DrGilda.com/

It has 50+ items for SELF and CAREER success. What do you think?

Love,
DrGilda.com
www.DrGilda.com

Saturday, December 8, 2012

Remaining...but Complaining --30-Second Therapist, Today Show


I CAN’T STAND MY BF, BUT I DON’T WANT TO LEAVE

BY

DR. GILDA CARLE (Ph.D.)
“30-Second Therapist”
Today Show Website

Huh?  Why do people stay when they should go? Why do they go when they should stay?  It’s all about FEAR!!  And fear has grave consequences: This week’s Gilda-Gram™ is “Sex is often the first casualty of incompatibility.”


What do you think? Thanx to you, my readers and fans, this “30-Second Therapist” hit the top front page of the Today Show website.  What a great early Christmas present!
Love,
Dr. Gilda



EARLY CHRISTMAS PRESENT

YAY!!  This week's "30-Second Therapist" is on the FRONT PAGE, at the TOP of the Today Show website:  http://today.msnbc.msn.com  "I Can't Stand My Boyfriend but I Don't Want to Leave."

Online real estate is the same as terrestrial real estate:  Location, location, location.

Friday, December 7, 2012

I CAN'T STAND MY BF, BUT I WON'T LEAVE


I CAN’T STAND MY BF, BUT I WON’T LEAVE

BY

DR. GILDA CARLE (Ph.D.)
“30-Second Therapist”
Today Show Website

Huh?  Why do people stay when they should run?  FEAR!  Why do people run when they should stay?  FEAR.  Both extremes are shown below. What is your take?


Keep your feedback rolling.  I’ve been answering many of your questions in this “30-Second Therapist” column!
Love,
Dr. Gilda



Tuesday, December 4, 2012

EXCITING NEW SHOW SOON!!



Dr. Gilda having dinner with Carl Schick, who discovered her for Investigation Discovery. Their new show will air on Valentine's Day, February 2013.  Stay tuned for more details coming soon ... 

Friday, November 30, 2012

IF IT'S YOURS, YOU CAN'T LOSE IT! --30-Second Therapist, Today Show Website


If It’s Yours, You Can’t Lose It!

By

DR. GILDA CARLE (PH.D.)
30-Second Therapist
Today Show Website

One of my fave Gilda-Grams™ is “If it’s mine, I can’t lose it.  If it’s not, I don’t want it.”  Doesn’t that up your comfort level?  (It does mine!) One reader desperately needs to repeat this mantra: 

Then there’s a guy whose GF is comforting her ex with cancer—but the guy's upset he’s missing his lollipop!  Ohhh!  What do YOU think?

Please continue your wonderful feedback and your questions for use in this “30-Second Therapist” column.
Love,
Dr. Gilda

GONE VIRAL! DAD CRITICIZES HIS GROWN KIDS FOR LACK OF RESPONSIBILITY

HONESTLY, how many parents would be willing to admit this about their kids ?  This dad financed luxurious private school educations for his 3 children--and all he observed has been wonton child-bearing, broken marriages, and poor role modeling for his grandchildren.  AND HE'S HAD IT!  So he sent his grown kids the attached letter:  http://ow.ly/fIaWi

One of his daughters agreed--and, with her dad's permission, sent his letter to a local newspaper.  It's now gone viral.  This daughter said she needed a kick in the ass, and she's begun turning her life around at 40.  This dad's other two children are not happy with their verbal whipping. 

Taking responsibility for your life and your growth is the ongoing theme of all my books, columns, and appearances.  I hope this dad's letter will kick-start more people to unlock this key to their happiness and success.  WHAT DO YOU THINK?
Love,
Dr. Gilda
www.DrGilda.com


  

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

HALLE BERRY'S PROBLEM


EXCLUSIVE!  Dr. Gilda Warns The Vicious Custody Battle Will Have Devastating Long-Term Consequences On Nahla

On Tuesday, Gabriel Aubry failed in his bid to overturn an order banning him from seeing Nahla following that bloodied brawl with Halle Berry’s fiance Olivier Martinez on Thanksgiving.
The fight comes on the heels of a two-year bitter custody war, which has pegged one parent against the other, both in court and in the press.
The latest and most troubling incident resulted after Berry failed in her attempt to move to Paris with her  daughter.
Even Berry’s mother acknowledged that “things need to calm down”.
Former nurse Judith Hawkins told Celebuzz: ”This  cannot go on things have got to calm down. I  hope that things get better, I really hope that they do; they have got to get  better.”
When asked how Berry and Nahla were holding up, Hawkins replied: “As far as I know Halle and Nahla are fine though.”

But is Nahla really fine? She is only four and what impact will this vicious battle have on her as she grows up?

Dr. Gilda fears the impact her parents custody war will have on Nahla as she grows up

“Today” show’s “30-Second Therapist” Dr. Gilda Carle predicts that it will take an emotional toll on the child as she gets older.

“Nahla will grow up believing that men’s role is to LITERALLY fight for their woman,”  Dr. Gilda Carle tells Celebzter. ”She’ll also grow up believing that all men take to abuse and fighting when they can’t get their way.

“Surrounded but nothing but chaos, she’ll seek the same kind of environment when she’s picking partners.  Halle needs a lot of intensive therapy to discover when she keeps picking abusive men, and how she can find someone who doesn’t use his fists.

“Children pick up the cues from their parents’ behaviors, not from the words their parents tell them.”

For the sake of their daughter, perhaps Berry and Aubry should put their emotions to one side and concentrate on the well-being of their daughter, not just today, but in the long-term….



Thursday, November 22, 2012

PARTY TIME---AFTER HURRICANE SANDY





In flooded lower Manhattan after Hurricane Sandy, grateful we could actually get there, to celebrate Cathy Hobbs.

IF HE'S MEANT TO BE YOURS, HE WILL BE!



Are you trying to manipulate a lover to want you?  Forced love is a forgery.  If it's meant to happen, it will--without your interference.

HOW TO AVOID A FAMILY FIGHT DURING HOLIDAYS

This week's "30-Second Therapist" was highlighted on the Today Show. Arguing with family while sitting at the holiday table is common. But many of my readers and fans haven't puffed the peace pipe.  How about you?  

http://holidayblog.today.com/_news/2012/11/20/15314425-how-do-i-avoid-a-family-fight-about-politics-on-thanksgiving?lite

If you're having family problems at Thanksgiving, what will you do during the 12 Days of Christmas?
Love,
Dr. Gilda


Tuesday, November 20, 2012

GUARANTEE HAPPINESS NOW!


Especially during the holidays, if anyone in your family wants to squabble with you, refuse!  No one can argue with someone who won't participate.

Sunday, November 18, 2012

SEEK RESPECT BEFORE LOVE



Most people think they should fall in love, and then worry about respect in their relationship.  WRONG SEQUENCE!  
It should be the other way around!

Saturday, November 17, 2012

FRIENDS WITH NOOO BENEFITS!


Friends WITH NO Benefits!

By

Dr. Gilda Carle (Ph.D.)
30-Second Therapist
Today.com

What are these people thinking? “The woman I love dumped me—but wants us to continue living together because she can’t afford the rent.” Duh!  “Since I want security, should I leave my high school dropout BF for my college ex?”


Loyal readers and fans, I’m anxious to hear your take on these!!

HAVE A GLORIOUS THANKSGIVING, appreciating all you have.  There are so many others less fortunate!

Love,
Dr. Gilda


Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Petraeus: How to Prevent a Spouse from Cheating




We've certainly seen this before:  Rich, powerful men who cheat on their wives.  Eliot Spitzer, John Edwards, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Tiger Woods, Mark Sanford, Bill Clinton--and the list goes on...  Why?  And what does their marriage lack? ONE MAIN THING!  Watch this to find out what it is.