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Monday, October 31, 2011

DEMI VS. BRUCE


Bruce is About to be a Dad for the 4TH Time.
Could the Timing be Any Worse for Demi?

 27 Oct 2011 

www.Celebzter.com





Demi Moore is already showing the strain of her current beau Ashton Kutcher's reported infidelities, so her ex-husband's news could not have come at a worse time.


Demi Moore has always retained a close relationship with her ex Bruce Willis, who, it was just revealed, is about to be a father again.

We consulted The World's Most Famous Relationship Expert, Dr. Gilda Carle to see how Bruce's joy could become Demi's misery.  She writes:

DEMI VS. BRUCE


By
DR. GILDA CARLE


It must be tough for Demi Moore to watch her ex-husband, Bruce Willis, celebrate his new wife’s pregnancy at this time. Not that she wouldn’t be happy that Bruce is happy. But Demi’s own issues with cheating husband Ashton Kutcher would make her naturally want to contrast her personal sorrows with Bruce’s upcoming excitement. For years, before Bruce married, he hung out with Demi, their 3 daughters, and Ashton as part of a seemingly contented and comfortable friendship. Because this group got along so well, they became the role model for compatible former spouses. So now, it would only be natural to compare the lives of these two exes-turned-platonic-friends. Not so fast!


Message to Demi (and Other Suffering Souls): Because we each walk our own path, we can never compare our life with that of another. Each of our journeys takes us to where we uniquely need to be. Rejoicing with Bruce will not only make him happy and enrich your friendship; it will also allow you to bury your own issues for a time. Everyone, without exception, experiences life’s ebb and flow. Giving means to be there for others in whatever capacity you can. Actually, it might also give you some temporary relief. So it is a gift to remove yourself from yourself, in favor of others’ needs.


I remember one cold and lonely New Years Eve right after my divorce. Tired of feeling sorry for myself, I donated my time to the homeless. Because of that, by the time New Years Day rolled around, I was truly refreshed for a NEW year on a new page. Giving can be rewarding and healing. I hope you’ll try this, Demi.
Love,
Dr. Gilda


To follow Dr Gilda Carle, visit here: www.DrGilda.com




Monday, October 24, 2011

LINDSAY'S PARENTS TO BLAME!


Don’t Blame Lindsay Lohan For Her Obnoxious, Entitled Behavior, Blame Her Parents!


Getty Images (3)

If you want to slap some sense into self-destructive Lindsay — don’t. Save your anger for her selfish, opportunistic parents who are using Lindsay to get the attention THEY crave!



When Lindsay Lohan showed up at the LA morgue 40 minutes late to perform her judge-ordered community service on Oct. 20, jaws dropped everywhere! Did she have absolutely no respect for the law? Was there no line she wouldn’t cross? Was she begging to be thrown back into jail?





How can Lindsay not see how she has destroyed a once A-list film career and with every DUI, theft conviction, trip to rehab, jail term, dressing-down by a judge AND nights out of partying, she is hammering more nails into the coffin of her former career.




But much as you’d like to blame Lindsay who at 25 should be an adult, you can’t. “She has the mentality of a child,” insists psychotherapist Dr. Gilda Carle. “She’s never been taught any values or coping skills by her parents.”




Instead, Lindsay’s parents Dina — and Michael Lohan — are using her to get the rewards of media attention, and they care far more about that than the mental health of their daughter, believes Dr. Gilda.




“She just doesn’t understand that her behavior affects whether or not she can get jobs,” says Dr. Gilda, of DrGilda.com




She may even be having an extended temper tantrum. “She’s angry with them and maybe she unconsciously wants to destroy her career because she’s tired of supporting her family.”




Now, I know that it requires a lot of patience still to have an iota of sympathy for Lindsay because she’s so unbearably annoying, but think of it this way — Lindsay truly is alone and unloved.  She’s using drugs and alcohol to numb her pain.




Would you cope any better if your parents were using you since when you were a child to get money and fame? Wouldn’t you be sad, angry and self-destructive?




When you actually imagine walking in Lindsay’s shoes — even if they’re Louboutins — aren’t you glad you’re anybody but her!


 

Friday, October 21, 2011

LINDSAY LOHAN: WHO IS SHE?


Weighing in on who is to blame for all of Lindsay's woes

Fri, 21 Oct 2011
WWW.CELEBZTER.COM







Is it the lack of strong parental guidance, or Lindsay Lohan's desire to be in the spotlight at any cost, the reason she constantly finds herself in trouble?


On the back of the news that TMZ is reporting that Dina Lohan is intending to sell a memoir which lifts the lid on her daughter's secrets, and paints herself in the light of a great mother. She says, "I couldn't deny my daughter the chance of a lifetime." We asked Dr. Gilda Carle to give her take on why Lindsay Lohan continues to remain such a train wreck.  She writes --

LINDSAY LOHAN:  WHO IS SHE?


By 


DR. GILDA CARLE

                       The World’s Most Famous Relationship Expert


When you think of Lindsay Lohan, what comes to mind? Unfortunately, for most, it’s not the word “actress.” I questioned people in the New York streets, asking, “What does the name Lindsay Lohan mean to you?” Their responses were “a mess,” “a druggie brat,” “a bisexual,” “a spoiled bitch,” “a demanding a party girl,” and some said even worse things than that. So what went wrong with this young, beautiful, once-innocent, talented former actress?


As a child star, Lindsay tasted success, wealth, and adoration, and she was very much in demand. As she became more famous, she began to run free with spoiled and undisciplined teens like herself. Where were her parents during all this? They were enjoying their own sudden fame, and even joining Lindsay on the party scenes.

Every teen needs boundaries laid down by parents who care. As my Gilda-Gram says, “Parents must be friendly towards, not friends with, their children.” This was not the case in the Lohan home. In addition, her mom and dad went through a vile and public divorce, caring about their own issues at the expense of their daughter.



So what has Lindsay become? She’s a young woman with a child’s mentality, trying to grab for love wherever she can get it, whether it’s through drugs, men, women, stolen jewelry, parties, or other false highs. But none of these outlets can provide her with what she truly needs: to love herself so she can care for herself. People who did not get what they needed from their mom and dad must parent themselves. I wish Lindsay knew that. Her attitude of entitlement is causing no one to want to work with her, befriend her, or partner with her. How many trips to the courthouse will it take for her to grow up and wake up to that fact that SHE is all she’s got!!

Dr. Gilda Carle

www.DrGilda.com

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

DR. GILDA HEALS COUPLES IN CRISIS

DR. GILDA HEALS COUPLES IN CRISIS








Here are some screen shots from "COUPLES IN CRISIS" that aired this week on Bill Cunningham.  (My mouth is always moving!!) The show kindly promoted my book, "How to Win at Love," available only on www.DrGilda.com


















Monday, October 17, 2011

LOVE, THE 3RD TIME AROUND


WILL THE 3RD TIME BE A CHARM?


by


DR. GILDA CARLE


Courtesy of Match.com’s Happen Magazine 





One woman feels unworthy of love after losing 2 long-term relationships over age issues.  But is it really her age or something else??



Dear Dr. Gilda,
I was with a man for 17 years. The sun rose and set for this man, as far as I was concerned. I loved him deeply and I made him the reason I woke up every day. He dumped me for a young girl; I was 43 at the time and he was 38. Now he's 20 years older than she is.  I was devastated. Our best friends disowned him, and his family hardly ever talks to him anymore. He moved away to another state with this girl and married her. He bought a lovely home and has a great job where he earns good money.


I am barely scraping by. I've tried dating, but my age always seems to be a "red flag." I dated a man off and on for a few years, but when I turned 50, he told me I'd reached his "cut-off point." Now, I don't care if I ever go out on another date. My love goes to family, friends and my cat. I do feel cheated and continue to carry around hatred for this man that I once loved so much. I cannot get over it and I don't feel like I am worthy of being loved because of my age. Why would anyone want me when there are so many younger choices out there? If I won the lottery, I'd run to a plastic surgeon to change all the things I hate about myself that are getting worse with age. I hear my ex is doing great and they are planning a family together. I feel so cheated. I'm 52, 30 pounds overweight and broke. Why would any man want that?
Lost and Wasted


Dear Lost (but NOT Wasted!),
Whenever someone gets dumped, it is, of course, a terrible blow. After spending 17 years with your boyfriend, it's understandable that your breakup would cause you painful heartache. That's why, after a breakup, I often prescribe taking time out to grieve, heal and examine what you had, what you lost, what went wrong, and determining your best next steps. After spending almost two decades with this man, that kind of exploration should take a good while — so don't try to rush it. Work with a counselor to help you designate a time limit for your grieving process so the fallout does not last indefinitely.


You have continued to mourn for eight years now without end, which has blocked you from getting onto a more positive life course. As you replay the scenario of being left for some sweet young thing over and over again in your head, you're beating yourself up — not only about your lost love, but also about your age, weight gain and scanty finances. In truth, there is only so much blame you can hang on your ex for your current dismal state of affairs. Most of these issues belong to you, and require that you alone resolve them. So the big question is, "Why are you not taking the reins to improve your life now?" The answer is that, until now, you've never had any practice in owning your existence. You said, "The sun rose and set for this man" and that "I made him the reason I woke up every day." Now that he's no longer around, you believe you don't deserve anything better.


A client of mine once attributed her non-deserving
status to her poor eyesight — which, she believed, made her unworthy of love. Another blamed his non-deserving status on the leg he lost to amputation after serving as a soldier in Afghanistan, while still another said it was because he had herpes. I tell all these people to look around them, especially at other folks who have disabilities or flaws that also enjoy deep, loving relationships. What are they doing right? I'll tell you: they don't perceive their so-called flaws as disabling to their relationships, and therefore, they are able to live without the burden of feeling "unworthy of love."


You and your guy were both very young when you got together. He was only 21, and it probably seemed cool for this young man to be in a relationship with a "wiser, older" 26-year-old woman. These days, we call sexy sirens with younger men "cougars" and watch them generate smiles and winks when they're together. In truth, a five-year age difference has little bearing on any romance between two grown-ups. So, what was it that really caused your ex to leave you for a younger, fresher model? Could it have had something to do with you bemoaning your age? The guy you dated "for a few years" also disappeared when you reached his "cut-off point" at 50. Study this Gilda-Gram: "The view we project is the image others reflect." Become aware of the messages you are communicating to others (consciously or subconsciously), then question whether you would want to be around someone who continues to whine about her antiquity!


You say that you feel cheated and you "continue to carry around hatred for this man." The opposite of love is not hate; it's indifference.  So your deep, negative feelings for your ex continue to connect you to him to this day! Clearly, you need . . .

See:



XXX
DR. GILDA CARLE (Ph.D.) is an internationally known psychotherapist, relationship expert, and product spokesperson.  She is Match.com’s “ASK DR. GILDA” advice columnist. She is also known as the Country Music Doctor, with her “Country Cures.”  She is a motivational speaker, professor of psychology & communications, the author of the well-known “Don’t Bet on the Prince!,” a test question on “Jeopardy,” NOW IN ITS SECOND EDITION, 99 Prescriptions for Fidelity, How to Win When Your Mate Cheats, and many more. She was the therapist in HBO's Emmy Award winner, "Telling Nicholas," featured on Oprah, where she guided a family to tell their 7-year-old that his mom died in the World Trade Center bombing.  DR. GILDA is the Love Doc advisor for the off-Broadway show, “Miss Abigail’s Guide to Dating, Mating, & Marriage!”  She is currently developing her own TV show.  Visit www.DrGilda.com and get her Instant Advice!








Sunday, October 16, 2011

DR. GILDA ON BILL CUNNINGHAM

DR. GILDA & BILL CUNNINGHAM





One of the shows I did on Bill Cunningham aired nationwide last week.  Here are some screen shots of the show.  Thanx to Lisa Ribacoff for sending them to me :)















Wednesday, October 12, 2011

KIM & KRIS DON'T NEED A DIVORCE LAWYER!


Will Kim and Kris last the distance?

Tues., 11 Oct 2011 



We've all been a bit skeptical when it comes to this union, but do Kim Kardashian and new hubby, Kris Humphries have what it takes to have the happily-ever-after fairytale?

Their romance was a whirlwind, and we were curious to see if Kim and Kris have the elements to cement a lasting union. We consulted The World's Most Famous Relationship ExpertDr. Gilda Carle,  to get her thoughts, particularly in light of Kris' recent party antics.  Here's what she says:


Kim & Kris, A Divorce Lawyer Is the Wrong Approach

By 

DR. GILDA CARLE 




It was recently reported that Kim Kardashian’s new hubby, Kris Humphries, was spotted getting thisclose to “two sexy club girls during a recent night out in NYC,” without Kim or his wedding ring. If this report is true, it would not be surprising.



Here’s the dope on men who are not fully developed emotionally, otherwise known as “immature.” (BTW: The same holds true for immature women.) An immature guy will unconsciously hook up with a strong woman to hopefully feel better about himself. Soon, the guy’s buddies will ridicule him for being “whipped.” And he himself will question where his identity went. So what will he do? He might act out to prove that he’s really “THE MAN.” In effect, by acting out, he thinks he’s proving that he’s in charge, not the woman who “whipped” him. I don’t think so!


Here’s the fallacy behind such behavior:

1. No woman can ever take away a man’s identity.

2. No man can ever “regain” a strong identity if he never had one.

3. No person demonstrates any kind of strength by acting out!!



For a healthy relationship, couples must honestly communicate about their differences. If not for differences, two people would only be connected to duplicates of themselves! Boring!! Mature couples know they need not make public spectacles of themselves to prove their worth.



Hey, Kim and Kris, seeking a divorce lawyer is not the answer. Sure, you can divorce, but you’ll only repeat the same behaviors with your next partner. Instead, grow from this experience. See a therapist and learn how to resolve your sore feelings. Every relationship has its bumps. The real trick is to learn how to navigate them. If you do, your marriage will thrive!




Tuesday, October 11, 2011

ANTONIO & MELANIE VS. DEMI & ASHTON


A TALE OF TWO CONTRASTING MARRIAGES

Sat, 8 Oct 2011





World Famous Relationship Expert, Dr.  Gilda Carle examines the difference between two high profile couples in Hollywood: 

Antonio/Melanie vs. Demi/Ashton

By Dr. Gilda Carle


                                www.DrGilda.com


When I counsel women, they always seem harder on themselves than the men I counsel. Why? Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that men hold us to a strict standard. Life & Style Magazine reported that Demi Moore had addiction issues, and that she was in rehab years ago for these problems. She had been “sober” for a long time, but the magazine claims these issues have resurfaced. And Ashton has found them very difficult to deal with.



Certainly, we can understand someone finding it difficult to cope with a spouse’s addiction of any kind. That is a very tough haul, and a return to the addiction is commonplace. But note the double standard: a woman will tend to hang onto the marriage if her husband has this problem. However, if the wife is the addict, the husband will exit.



The reason I wrote the piece for Celebzter about Melanie’s addiction and Antonio’s patience with her (Mel, please LINK to that piece) is because this husband seems like a mature guy who has taken “for better or for worse” literally. In contrast, Ashton’s less mature coping mechanism has been to seek instant gratification in the adoring arms of twenty-somethings. That will really solve the addiction problem, won’t it?



Anyone can conjure up rationalizations for cheating. From what has been reported, it sure seems that Ashton needs a heavy dose of maturity, a re-assessment of what true commitment is, and a great deal of compassion for his wife in need. Based on the studies, if the roles were reversed, Demi would probably hang in there! Before I’m misquoted, I’m certainly not recommending that anyone SHOULD remain with an addict. But I’m disappointed in Ashton for selecting a coping mechanism that blares, “I need a pacifier!” instead of one that questions, “How can I build better compassion for the woman with whom I shared some wonderful years?” Ashton, take your thumb out of your mouth and grow up!!


Photo credits: WENN.com




Sunday, October 9, 2011

DR. GILDA & LEAH GUY ON SET



Leah Guy & I taped her new TV show, "Who's On Deck" this week.  We had so much fun with our girl-talk gabbing about GUYS!!!!  Hope you'll watch.  It will be in some markets across the nation.  WATCH FOR IT!


MOVIE TO SEE: "THE ONE"


A MOVIE DATE MUST-SEE:
“The One”

By

DR. GILDA CARLE


On Saturday night, I was on the red carpet for the Premiere Opening of “The One” in New York.  This is a must-see movie, especially for every person seeking love.


The story depicts a plastic Ken-and-Barbie type couple that appears to have it all:  perfect looks, pristine education, privileged upbringing, and plenty of money.  These are the qualities Singles advertise for online, and also seek in a partner.  However, investment banker, Daniel, is gay. Unwilling to shatter his hetero image, he remains engaged to unsuspecting Jen, marries her, and fathers their baby. Until his plastic world breaks . . .


You will see love and lust, but also the lies and the liars who paint fictitious reality.  How well does anyone know his/her mate—or even his/her lover?  Unfortunately, every veil disintegrates in time.  Know yourself well before you hook up with someone!  And when you have accepted who YOU are, thoroughly know “The One.” I’ve counseled too many people who thought they knew their partner, only to be heartbroken later.  In many instances, the partner wasn’t gay, but dishonest in other crucial ways. Truth is the only courage love needs! 


This movie was so captivating, I bought the DVD.  You can, too, at:
Use this as a movie date with your honey, and talk about it.  As you know from all my writing, observe the conversation, but also hear what is not being said. This movie could save your heart!!  Please let me know.







Friday, October 7, 2011

SHOULD DEMI DIVORCE ASHTON?


Should Demi Divorce Ashton?




Is Ashton Kutcher a lost cause? Is Demi just facing more heartbreak and humiliation OR can counseling save their marriage despite serious new cheating allegations?

Hollywoodlife.com spoke to psychotherapist Dr. Gilda Carle about what Demi should do next and she said it depends on what’s really going on in Ashton Kutcher‘s head.


“He’s either so impressed with his own glory and wants to leave his wife in the dust, or he feels inadequate inside and is allegedly cheating to prove that he’s hot,” explains Dr. Gilda, of DrGilda.com, and author of Don’t Bet on the Prince!

“No man cheats if he’s happy in his marriage,”insists Dr. Gilda. “But the question is — why is he unhappy?”

Thursday, October 6, 2011

A LESSON FROM STEVE JOBS


VITAL LESSON !!!

"Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important... Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary."
 -- Steve Jobs


  

Monday, October 3, 2011

Is Justin Mr. Wrong?


Is Justin Mr. Wrong?

www.Celebzter.com

Fri, 30 Sep 2011 





Fresh allegations have surfaced that Jennifer Aniston's current beau took "powerful painkillers' and Class A drugs- and and even spoke of his hopes to pursue Jen's nemesis Angelina Jolie....which is possibly the worst thing that any man of Jen's could ever admit to. Justin's co-star on Iron Man 2, Keith Middlebrook has dished the dirt on Justin to Star magazine. Even though Justin has since cleaned up his act, we asked World Famous Relationship Expert, Dr. Gilda Carle to muse over these recent reports.  Here's what she had to say:


Is Justin Just In It for Fame?
                                            by 
Dr. Gilda Carle



Addicts constantly experience an ebb and flow, with a high rate of recidivism. That’s why we see them return to rehab again and again and again. An addictive personality must always cart around a proverbial lemonade squeezer for the moments when life hands him lemons. Otherwise, he’ll be back in rehab once more.


Maybe Justin Theroux finally kicked his addictive actions, but an addict never really rids his addictive needs. I wonder if Jennifer Aniston is just his latest fix. It’s interesting that last year he was fantasizing about Jen’s rival, Angelina Jolie. Since Angie had been out of Justin’s league at that time, I also wonder whether he settled for “second best” with Jen. Now, a tabloid headline says that Angie has reached out to Justin to star in one of her movies. Wouldn’t that really be rubbing it in Jennifer’s nose? (Brad certainly contributed to the triangular catfight last week by belittling Jen while praising Angie.) Let’s watch how this plays out. If Justin does agree to act with Angie, I think we all will know what we’ve been suspecting all along. Stay tuned!


To read more about Dr. Gilda Carle, follow this link: www.DrGilda.com

Photo credits; WENN.com