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Friday, September 30, 2011

Demi & Ashton, Mismatched from the Start!!


Did Demi & Ashton ever really stand a chance?
Thursday, 29 Sep 2011 
Ashton may have tweeted earlier this morning a link, without comment, to his Spotify account where he was playing the Public Enemy song "Don't Believe the Hype," but the lack of rep response from the couple’s spokespeople and Demi’s own tweets have done little to quash the growing storm that surrounds their marriage.

We consulted Dr Gilda Carle, the World’s Most Famous Relationship Expert to get her thoughts on the couple.

She writes:

Demi and Ashton, Mismatched from the Start!

By

Dr. Gilda Carle

There are lots of cougars in happy marriages to younger men, where the age difference is never a factor. Personally, I never understood the pairing of Ashton and Demi, not because of their age discrepancy, but because of their different personalities. It was ultimately Ashton’s inability to handle a mature woman in her 40’s that tore this couple apart. Why do I say that? Dude was cheating with women in their 20’s! What does that suggest about this guy’s mentality? Twenty-year-olds don’t have the breadth of knowledge, or the sophistication, of women in their 40’s. Ashton obviously needed the adoration by younger women who would not challenge him.

Doesn’t he remind you of the 5th grade prankster stuck on performing practical adolescent jokes? Surely, he famously parlayed his fun into MTV’s successful Punk’d. Now he’s all that in Charlie Sheen’s old spot. Professionally, he’s doing very well. But how he’s doing emotionally is another story. Perhaps he thought cheating was still part of his adolescent game playing. Perhaps he wasn’t ready for a full family of 3 step-daughters. Perhaps he really wasn’t the marrying kind. Or perhaps he started out wanting mothering from Demi, only to find that, when he had to uphold a long-term commitment, he perceived the mothering to be smothering. As the Jerry Maguire movie showed us, someone can be good at friendship and bad at intimacy. It seems that at 33, Ashton still has a lot of growing up to do.

For more expert advice, visit: www.DrGilda.com

Thursday, September 29, 2011

IS IT LOVE...OR IS IT LIMERANCE??


Is It Love… or Is It Limerance?


by


Dr. Gilda Carle




A man recently shared, “I never knew the true meaning of love until our friendship.”  To be on this planet for 50-something years, in and out of relationships and marriages, without knowing love’s enormous power, is pitiful.  Love is delicious healthy obsession that feels terrific and washes us in gentle droplets of healing.  The problem is that it’s often confused with limerance.  Find out here what that is, and whether the love you feel is the gift that serves you: http://tinyurl.com/3muynpv


Clearly, if it serves you, according to the latest findings, love will last forever…


I’m anxious to hear your love vs. limerance stories!
Love (of course),
Dr. Gilda

Monday, September 26, 2011

JEN OUT-EARNING JUSTIN: LOVE CRUSHER?

When you out-earn your man, it's not the pay gap that will kill the romance; it's the way you flaunt it!  Are you listening, Jen Aniston?


Weighing in on the gender divide: What happens when you earn more than your man?
Mon, 26 Sep 2011 02:37:25 +0100   LS3WIDGV3N
Jennifer Aniston is in the throes of love, but there's no escaping the fact, that she is the real breadwinner in the relationship. And, if more proof be needed on this fact, she just splashed out $450,000 on a painting, Stranger 44, but it was Justin who got the real thrill getting to do all the bidding.
But it got us wondering what impact does it have on a relationship when a woman hers significantly more than her man.
Who else would we turn to for an expert opinion on this, but Dr. Gilda Carle.
She writes;
These days, 1/3 of households consist of the woman earning more than her husband. When I casually asked some of my Mercy College students in New York how they felt about that, the men unanimously said they wouldn’t mind if their woman earns as much as they earn, as long as she doesn’t earn more than they! I guess that was Jen Aniston’s reasoning when she allowed her new beau, Justin Theroux, to do her bidding at an auction for a $450,000 painting. He certainly doesn’t have that kind of money. So did she deliberately set him up with her “play money” to protect his ego? This could be dangerous to their relationship. There’s only so much ridicule a healthy man can endure. If he finds that he’s become a laughing stock for being a kept man, his bedroom performance will suffer. A woman should support her man’s integrity, but she must be honest about it. A better approach for Jen would be to have a sit-down with Justin, calmly discuss the discrepancy in their incomes, and mutually reach a comfortable way of dealing with it. Setting him up as her auction man when everyone knows the truth is a put-down. How long will he be able to look in the mirror with any degree of pride? It’s not a woman’s earning capacity that is really the issue; it’s how she flaunts it that will affect her love life in the end!

To read more from Dr. Gilda Carle, simply click here
The World’s Most Famous Relationship Expert

Sunday, September 25, 2011

My Growth Is My Gratitude!


THE ADVENTURE OF LIFE

by

Dr. Gilda Carle


As I clear out, move out, and throw out, the remnants of my old life fade into the distance.  Who was I then?  I hardly recognize her now.  I discard the old and antiquated, and make room for love.  I had a serious auto accident last week, and parties, teaching, writing, and appearing.  Every aspect of my growth is my gratitude.   As life changes so rapidly now, I catch my breath to assess its meaning, especially in my dreams.  They unconsciously reveal what I consciously block.  And when I wake, one license plate with a message draws me back again.  I am guided, and I trust that it is where I'm supposed to go.  Yes, I love and I trust.  Thank God I can now do both, for they make me a more vital and vibrant healer.  What an adventure!



XXX


"At this point in time, we are going through a spiritual evolution. Higher forces are trying to flush out our excess baggage. Our problem is that we are holding onto it."  


"We must let go and trust the process. It is time to move to a higher clearer level." 

-- The Daily Guru


Thursday, September 22, 2011

ARE YOU SABOTAGING YOUR RELATIONSHIP?


ARE YOU SABOTAGING YOUR RELATIONSHIP?

by

DR. GILDA CARLE



Many people make the right love connection, fall hard, and then spend years SABOTAGING their relationship!!  WHY?

Here are just some of the reasons:

--They don’t believe they deserve love.
--They think someone better will come along.
--They don’t know how to love.
--They don’t trust their own feelings.
--They don’t trust the opposite sex.
--They are fearful of getting too close to someone.
--They don’t know what a healthy relationship looks like.
--They still live in the memory of being hurt.
--They choose to listen to others’ opinions.
--They have feelings of inadequacy.
--They have feelings of grandiosity.
--This is the behavior they observed while growing up.
--They are perfectionists, seeking the "perfect" match.  Good luck!!

Do you think you fall into any of those categories?

Check out one woman’s story in my recent Match.com article in Happen Magazine: http://tinyurl.com/4yc8jkr

With all the pain involved with sabotaging behavior, is it worth it?

PLEASE SEND ME YOUR COMMENTS!.

Love, in harmony only,
Dr. Gilda


XXX

DR. GILDA CARLE (Ph.D.) is an internationally known psychotherapist, relationship expert, and product spokesperson.  She is Match.com’s “ASK DR. GILDA” advice columnist. She is also known as the Country Music Doctor, with her “Country Cures.”  She is a motivational speaker, professor of psychology & communications, the author of the well-known “Don’t Bet on the Prince!,” a test question on “Jeopardy,” NOW IN ITS SECOND EDITION, 99 Prescriptions for Fidelity, How to Win When Your Mate Cheats, and many more. She was the therapist in HBO's Emmy Award winner, "Telling Nicholas," featured on Oprah, where she guided a family to tell their 7-year-old that his mom died in the World Trade Center bombing.  DR. GILDA is the Love Doc advisor for the off-Broadway show, “Miss Abigail’s Guide to Dating, Mating, & Marriage!”  She is currently developing her own TV show.  Visit www.DrGilda.com and get her Instant Advice!















Sunday, September 11, 2011

On This 10th Anniversary of 9/11


                        On This 10th Anniversary of Our Tragedy


"Telling Nicholas" was an HBO Documentary in which I guided a family to tell their 7-year-old that his mom had been killed in the World Trade Center bombing. Ten years ago, when 9/11 occurred, I prayed that I would be used in a huge way so people would benefit from the healing work I do. A day later, I was called by a producer to film the HBO documentary, "Telling Nicholas"--which went on to win an Emmy. The memories of that time are still so vivid for me, I cannot watch the film any more. 




This week, Newsweek Magazine published Nicholas’ Blog 10 years later, as a young man of 17: http://t.co/jpDDueI 


Nick is a wonderful writer.  I didn’t know about this Newsweek piece until a friend spotted it and told me that he referred to Dr. Gilda in this writing.


Nicholas has reached out to me and we’ve spoken over the years. I am so proud of him, as he recounts the journey that has brought him to the insightful and sensitive person he is today. 
I’m sure you will find reading it as captivating as I did—especially on this 10th Year Anniversary of that tragic day.  May God be with us all!
Love to you!


Friday, September 9, 2011

The ONLY 5 Reasons to Get Naked with Someone


The ONLY 5 Reasons to Get Naked with Someone

by

DR. GILDA CARLE (Ph.D.)



How many of us (myself included!) have let our guard down too soon and fallen for the promises of passion . . . only to regret it in the morning?  If you're part of the human race, raise your hand as guilty!!  In this Match.com column, I dissect when it's okay and when it's not!!  


PLEASE LET ME HEAR YOUR THOUGHTS.


XXX




The heat is on (romantic heat between you and your new love, that is)—and you’re in h-e-a-v-e-n! Your relationship is clearly heading toward the bedroom, but before you two head in there, slow down for a second. When you awake from your lust, will you question, “What was I thinking??” 


If you’re the kind of person who isn’t comfortable with casual sex and only wants to get naked with prospective long-term partners, let me share some 
Ask yourself: Do I feel emotionally safe yet?
advice. Prevent your heart from being trashed by thinking clearly before you do the deed. Ask yourself: Are you ready to get naked with this person? Are you sure? Consider these five reasons that reveal you’re really, truly, undoubtedly, and unequivocally ready to disrobe! If one of them suits your situation, go for it... if you can’t check any of them off, you may want to slow down and take a wait-and-see attitude. 




Reason #1: You feel emotionally safe with your sweet thing
Alice went out a few times with a guy who was bonkers over her. That in itself was an ego trip. He was brilliant and had a high-level job at a prestigious organization, which was the subject of enormously stimulating conversation. They also laughed a lot. In short, he was a pleasure to be with.


Although Alice and he were always clothed, he complimented her body often. Then he would criticize his former girlfriend, a rather famous lady, saying what an awful body shehad. Alice was appalled that he would degrade someone he had once cared for. Although he was wonderful to her to her face, his nasty critiques of his ex were a turn-off. She stopped seeing him because she felt she would never feel safe from his denigrations should their relationship go the way his last one did.


Feeling emotionally safe is vital before getting naked. I doubt that Famous Lady would have felt safe with this guy had she known how he would debase her once their coupledom was kaput. Remember my Gilda-Gram: Feeling emotionally safe means feeling emotionally protected—which is necessary in love.


Reason #2: You know your honey will still be your honey later, after you’re clothed
In a Seinfeld episode, Elaine described how her sweetie-for-the-night ran out of her bed early in the morning. She likened guys who do this to being farmers who feel they must tend their land before sunrise. Some too, exit early after a night of play. And it can erode even a sturdy self-image—if you allow that to happen. When a night of passion is followed by what might seem like icy abandonment, ...





Please continue reading @ http://t.co/TpVMQT2 and let me hear YOUR experiences!!


XXX





DR. GILDA CARLE (Ph.D.) is an internationally known psychotherapist, relationship expert, and product spokesperson.  She is Match.com’s “ASK DR. GILDA” advice columnist. She is also known as the Country Music Doctor, with her “Country Cures.”  She is a motivational speaker, professor of psychology & communications, the author of the well-known “Don’t Bet on the Prince!,” a test question on “Jeopardy,” NOW IN ITS SECOND EDITION, 99 Prescriptions for FidelityHow to Win When Your Mate Cheats, and many more. She was the therapist in HBO's Emmy Award winner, "Telling Nicholas," featured on Oprah, where she guided a family to tell their 7-year-old that his mom died in the World Trade Center bombing.  DR. GILDA is the Love Doc advisor for the off-Broadway show, “Miss Abigail’s Guide to Dating, Mating, & Marriage!”  She is currently developing her own TV show.  Visit www.DrGilda.com and get her Instant Advice!



Monday, September 5, 2011

The ONLY 5 Reasons to Get Naked with Someone

by

DR. GILDA CARLE (Ph.D.)



How many of us (myself included!) have let our guard down too soon and fallen for the promises of passion . . . only to regret it in the morning?  If you're part of the human race, raise your hand as guilty!!  In this Match.com column, I dissect when it's okay and when it's not!!  


PLEASE LET ME HEAR YOUR THOUGHTS.


XXX




The heat is on (romantic heat between you and your new love, that is)—and you’re in h-e-a-v-e-n! Your relationship is clearly heading toward the bedroom, but before you two head in there, slow down for a second. When you awake from your lust, will you question, “What was I thinking??” 


If you’re the kind of person who isn’t comfortable with casual sex and only wants to get naked with prospective long-term partners, let me share some 
Ask yourself: Do I feel emotionally safe yet?
advice. Prevent your heart from being trashed by thinking clearly before you do the deed. Ask yourself: Are you ready to get naked with this person? Are you sure? Consider these five reasons that reveal you’re really, truly, undoubtedly, and unequivocally ready to disrobe! If one of them suits your situation, go for it... if you can’t check any of them off, you may want to slow down and take a wait-and-see attitude. 




Reason #1: You feel emotionally safe with your sweet thing
Alice went out a few times with a guy who was bonkers over her. That in itself was an ego trip. He was brilliant and had a high-level job at a prestigious organization, which was the subject of enormously stimulating conversation. They also laughed a lot. In short, he was a pleasure to be with.


Although Alice and he were always clothed, he complimented her body often. Then he would criticize his former girlfriend, a rather famous lady, saying what an awful body shehad. Alice was appalled that he would degrade someone he had once cared for. Although he was wonderful to her to her face, his nasty critiques of his ex were a turn-off. She stopped seeing him because she felt she would never feel safe from his denigrations should their relationship go the way his last one did.


Feeling emotionally safe is vital before getting naked. I doubt that Famous Lady would have felt safe with this guy had she known how he would debase her once their coupledom was kaput. Remember my Gilda-Gram: Feeling emotionally safe means feeling emotionally protected—which is necessary in love.


Reason #2: You know your honey will still be your honey later, after you’re clothed
In a Seinfeld episode, Elaine described how her sweetie-for-the-night ran out of her bed early in the morning. She likened guys who do this to being farmers who feel they must tend their land before sunrise. Some too, exit early after a night of play. And it can erode even a sturdy self-image—if you allow that to happen. When a night of passion is followed by what might seem like icy abandonment, ...





Please continue reading @ http://t.co/TpVMQT2 and let me hear YOUR experiences!!


XXX





DR. GILDA CARLE (Ph.D.) is an internationally known psychotherapist, relationship expert, and product spokesperson.  She is Match.com’s “ASK DR. GILDA” advice columnist. She is also known as the Country Music Doctor, with her “Country Cures.”  She is a motivational speaker, professor of psychology & communications, the author of the well-known “Don’t Bet on the Prince!,” a test question on “Jeopardy,” NOW IN ITS SECOND EDITION, 99 Prescriptions for Fidelity, How to Win When Your Mate Cheats, and many more. She was the therapist in HBO's Emmy Award winner, "Telling Nicholas," featured on Oprah, where she guided a family to tell their 7-year-old that his mom died in the World Trade Center bombing.  DR. GILDA is the Love Doc advisor for the off-Broadway show, “Miss Abigail’s Guide to Dating, Mating, & Marriage!”  She is currently developing her own TV show.  Visit www.DrGilda.com and get her Instant Advice!