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Sunday, August 14, 2011

I LOVE FACEBOOK MORE THAN YOU!!!

Do you love someone who is addicted to social media? Could this be your partner's way of distancing from you? Or… is your partner mirroring YOUR commitment issues? My Gilda-Gram says, "We attract who we are." So??



This "Ask Dr. Gilda" column hit Yahoo.com today:


http://yahoo.match.com/y/article.aspx?articleid=12556




What are YOUR thoughts?


Love,

Dr. Gilda

Thursday, August 4, 2011

One of the World's Most Famous Relationship Experts...

One of the world's most famous relationship experts weighs in on Jen's new romance

Celebzter.com


Dr Gilda Carle is one of America's most famous relationship experts- she is the author of the best selling book “Don’t Bet on the Prince!”, she contributes to top magazines in America and is a constant fixture on TV. So what better person to gives us insight into whether Jen and Justin Theroux relationship will last.

We think you'll find her take on the situation be enlightening.

She writes: " I think Jen’s still heartbroken and angry over being dumped by Brad. In an unconscious way, she’s letting the world know that she can play the same game. It’s acting out, as an adolescent would do. All the men she’s been with have been poor choices, and have ended in disaster. There’s a reason for that: She still hoped that Brad would return. So now, she’s unconsciously trying to make herself into the same sex siren that Ange was when Ange stole Brad.

"Perhaps it is a pr stunt, except that how could she explain away the other bad choices she’s made? Those weren’t pr stunts!"

She adds: "Earth to Jen: If this dude would was with someone he allegedly loved for over a decade, how could Jen trust him not to lie to her? As I said, she’s not done too well in the mate-selection department! She is definitely headed for heartbreak.

Please someone, tell me some redeeming qualities he has!!!


To find out more about Dr Gilda Carle visit her website: www.DrGilda.com - author of “Don’t Bet on the Prince!”

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Why Is He STILL Online and Looking?


Why Is He STILL Online and Looking?


By

DR. GILDA CARLE (Ph.D.)

Courtesy of Match.com’s Happen Magazine 


http://www.happenmag.com/magazine/index.aspx?lid=396

Dear Dr. Gilda,
I met a wonderful man online three months ago. I have since deleted all my dating profiles on different sites, but his profiles are still up and running and not only that, I can tell that he accesses them every day. I have thought of confronting him, but am afraid that if I do, he will leave me.


We have had a wonderful relationship during these 3 months; he has told me that he loves me and is even talking about us moving in together. I asked if he was serious about us, and he said yes. I asked him if we are in a committed relationship, and he said yes. He told me, “You don’t have to worry about me seeing other women. I don’t do that because I know how much it hurts.”


He is spending almost all his free time with me. Now I would like to find a way to ask him to stop going online to chat with other women, but I don’t want to lose him. What should I do?
In Love and Guarded



Dear In Love and Guarded,
There is something fundamentally unhealthy about being in love and being on guard. What kind of love is it where you can’t be yourself, where you need to walk on eggshells, where you can’t share your feelings, or where you doubt whether you can trust your mate? Is this really how you’d like to live and love? It’s certainly not the basis on which to cohabitate.


This guy’s words are what you want to hear, but his actions online (where you can see them) paint a different canvas. Girl, if you’re not prepared to tell him what you found, you’re not ready to be with him. Relationships are about honesty!


It upsets me that you live in fear that this man will leave you. Will you twist yourself into a pretzel so that he’ll stay around? If so, he’ll be missing your authentic self, and he’ll soon tire of the fake you that you’ve become. And you’ll be cheating the union just to hang onto a man. Sorry, but the only road to travel down is Honesty Drive.


Your insecurity is glaring, and frankly, it’s a turnoff. You say, “I asked if he was serious about us, and he said yes. I asked him if we are in a committed relationship, and he said yes.” You’re spending too much effort classifying and categorizing the relationship and begging for love while he’s at least still looking.


This is what I suggest:


1. Slow down the pace. Three months is too short a time to be talking about lasting love and cohabitation. He’s not ready, and you’re too insecure.


2. Change your approach by ending the “Do-You-Love-Me?” lyrics. As my Gilda-Gram says, “Discover the truth about your relationship now rather than cry about your discovery later.”



3. Take a course in assertiveness. Embrace your power, and make the cat-and-mouse games you’ve played earlier an activity of your past.


ReRelationships with others allow us to look at ourselves. Girl, chill out! Consider how much growth you are about to experience as you confront your feelings. Take a deep breath and relax as you embrace this wonderful epiphany. And then, allow the wind to take you where you need to grow.

Love,

Dr. Gilda

XXX

DR. GILDA CARLE (Ph.D.) is an internationally known psychotherapist, relationship expert, and product spokesperson. She is Match.com’s “ASK DR. GILDA” advice columnist. She is also known as the Country Music Doctor, with her “Country Cures.” She is a motivational speaker, professor of psychology & communications, the author of the well-known “Don’t Bet on the Prince!,” a test question on “Jeopardy,” NOW IN ITS SECOND EDITION, 99 Prescriptions for Fidelity, How to Win When Your Mate Cheats, and many more. She was the therapist in HBO's Emmy Award winner, "Telling Nicholas," featured on Oprah, where she guided a family to tell their 7-year-old that his mom died in the World Trade Center bombing. DR. GILDA is the Love Doc advisor for the off-Broadway show, “Miss Abigail’s Guide to Dating, Mating, & Marriage!” She is currently developing her own TV show. Visit www.DrGilda.com and get her Instant Advice!